“I’m going to let you two talk,” Ethan says, kissing my forehead. To my mom, he says, “I won’t be far. Don’t stress her out.”
My mom nods in understanding and then Ethan walks out,leaving us alone.
“Your brother was right,” she says. “I did write in my journal I was pregnant by a man I didn’t know, only it wasn’t your brother I was pregnant with.” She waits for what she’s said to soak in and then she continues, and for the next however long, I listen as my mom tells me the entire story. When she’s done, we’re both crying and she’s apologizing for the millionth time.
When she pulls back from hugging me—again—my gown is moved. Her eyes land on my tattoo and I hold my breath, waiting for her wrath.
“Live hard. Love Harder.” Her lips curl in a sad smile.
“Stephen said it to me before he died.”
She nods once thoughtfully. “It was written on the front of my journal. I read it once in a poem and it stuck with me. That’s beautiful.”
I let out a breath. “Thank you. I got it to remember Stephen.”
“I don’t necessarily agree with tattooing yourself permanently,” she says, in the tone I know too well. “But if you’re going to do something crazy, I’m glad it at least has meaning.”
I smile, knowing that took a lot for her to say.
“Good morning, Mrs. Romero.” Dr. Bromfield walks in. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay.” I’m still slightly confused as to how I got here, but that can wait until later. All that matters is somehow I got away from Felix and am safe in the hospital.
“Good to hear.” He checks a couple things on the monitors. “Since you’re here and stable and have already been prepped, I would like to do the surgery. What do you think?”
I think that I’m so grateful to be alive, I’d like to stay that way… And since the only way to do that is to have this surgery, I might as well get it over with.
Before I can even speak, though, Ethan steps into the room. “Nevaeh, please,” he begs, walking over and taking my hand in his. “You have to have this surgery. I can’t lose you.”
“I’m going to give you two a moment,” the doctor says, slipping out.
“I’ll be right outside,” Mom adds.
Ethan opens his mouth, about to continue, but I bring my fingers to his lips. “Shh… my turn.” He nods.
“These last few months with you have been nothing short of amazing. Because of your strength and warmth, I finally felt safe enough to live, and even if this is all I get, I know what it’s like to live and love to the fullest.”
“This isn’t it,” he mumbles from behind my fingers.
“But if it is… I need you to know how much you changed my life. And if for whatever reason I don’t wake up, I need you to promise me you won’t stop living again.”
“No.”
“Yes,” I argue. “You will find someone to love. You have such a big heart and it would be a waste for it to not be used. Let someone in, just like you let me in, and love with all of your being. Promise me.”
“Nevaeh, please,” he pleads, sounding more like a scared little boy than the strong man I know him to be.
“My beautiful, sweet husband.” I cup his face. “I love you so much. I couldn’t have faced any of this without you.”
“You’re in here because of me,” he murmurs.
“No, I’m in here because of Logan and Felix. I meant I couldn’t have dealt with my tumor without you.”
“Yes, you could’ve.” His hand cups mine, and he turns it around and kisses the inside of my palm. “You’re so strong, Angel. So damn strong.”
“Because of you.” I look him in the eyes. “You make me less afraid. You once said that you were lost and by meeting me, you found your way back. The same is true for me.” I bring our entwined hands to my lips and kiss them. “Even before I lost my brother, I was stumbling around, trying to find my way. There was only a tiny shred of light—enough I could see, but not enough to find my way. And when I lost him… that little bit of light extinguished, and I was left in the dark.”
I glance down at our hands—his strong to my delicate. “I lost my faith, but more than that, I lost myself. And it was through your light I was able to find my way back. Don’t you see, Ethan? We are each other’s beacons.”
