“So, how was your birthday night out?” he asks, handing me a couple of containers.
“It was good. We ended up going to some crazy popular club… The Warehouse,” I say as I fork some rice and chicken onto my plate.
Stephen drops his fork and it clatters against his plate. “I thought you were going to Wine and Vine?”
“I thought we were too, but Blaire wanted to take me to my first club.” I shrug nonchalantly. “We had a good time.”
“That place is not somewhere you should be frequenting,” he says in a tone I’ve never heard from him before.
“It’s just a club,” I say, confused as to why he’s acting like I just committed the worst sin, when I know for a fact Stephen’s been to way worse places than The Warehouse.
“No, it’s not.” His eyes lock with mine. “The owner of that club is not a good guy. Illegal shit goes down there.” His jaw ticks in anger. “Promise me you won’t go back there again.”
“Okay,” I agree. “It was just for my birthday.” He knows I don’t go out often. It’s not like I’m going to suddenly make it my new hangout. Although, I had considered going back to see if I could run into Ethan again. He’d mentioned he had to get back to work, and it made me wonder if maybe he works at the club. Although, he seemed a bit too dressed up to be bartending. Maybe he’s one of the bouncers…
“I know,” Stephen says. “But The Warehouse isn’t a club you should be hanging out in, even if it’s just for your birthday. I never would’ve let you go there on your own.” He pulls me into a side hug and kisses my temple. “I’m your big brother and it’s my job to make sure you’re safe.”
Stephen turns the television on, ending the conversation, and clicks on one of my favorite episodes as we start to eat. We sit in silence watching the show and I notice that not once does he complain or make fun of the characters like he usually does. No sarcastic comments about Seth’s unhealthy obsession with Summer. No poking fun at the way Ryan is once again bailing Marissa out of a sticky situation. He doesn’t tell me about his latest girlfriend or even ask me about Blaire—and he always asks me about her. I thinkhe secretly likes her, but for whatever reason won’t admit to it. He takes a large sip of his drink and I notice it’s water instead of his usual beer. Something is wrong.
“Everything okay?” I ask, taking a sip of my root beer. It’s my favorite soft drink and Stephen always keeps them on hand for when I come over.
The corners of his lips hesitantly turn up into a fake smile, telling me he’s about to lie to me. I know the look because I’ve watched him give it every time he’s lied to our parents over the years. He nods, now chewing a mouthful of chicken fried rice.
“You sure?” I push him.
Once he swallows his food, he says, “Yes, Nevaeh, I’m fine.”
Nevaeh.
He never calls me by my name. He usually calls me Brat when he’s annoyed with me, knowing it drives me nuts, or Sis when he’s happy with me, but never Nevaeh. Something is definitely going on…
Before I can push the subject, though, he launches into what’s been going on with him at work. He’s an Atlantic City police officer, and while his job is exhausting, he’s always made sure to find time for me. That is until recently.
We move from the topic of his job to mine, and I tell him about some of the funny things my students have done. He laughs in all the right places, but behind his fake smile, I can see something is seriously wrong.
He asks me how my birthday was and I tell him about me and Blaire going dancing, about the martini I tried and enjoyed—leaving out the part where I got a birthday kiss from Ethan. His expressionshows brotherly love and protectiveness as he reminds me to never drink and drive. I’m lucky to have an older brother like Stephen. He’s protective and kind, and he’s one of my best friends.
I continue to make conversation, but I can’t even tell you what either of us are talking about. My mind is now stuck on Stephen and what he’s hiding from me. For him to act like this, it must be something big.
He sets his empty container down, while I still have half of mine left, and reaches for the remote, pausing the show. “I love you. You know that, right?”
His serious tone makes me tense up. “Yes, I know that, and I love you too.”
“I'll never forget how you stood by my side no matter how much I fucked up. When I chose to move out, you didn’t disown me like our mom did. You're a good fucking woman and an even better sister.”
“Where is this coming from?” I ask, suddenly nervous. Stephen has never been one to show emotion or talk about how he feels, no matter how much I've tried.
“It just needed to be said, Nevaeh.” And there it is. My name. Again.
Stephen pulls me into a hug and then backs away, looking me dead in my eyes. “I know you love Mom, but promise me something, okay?”
“What?”
“Promise me you’ll stop living your life for her and start living it to the fullest. You can still believe in God and enjoy your life. Mom is far from perfect, and she’s only sheltering you to preventyou from enjoying your life because she’s afraid you’ll make the same mistakes she made. There’s a lot you don’t know. I know you give in to her because I didn’t, but I don’t want you doing that anymore. Promise me you’ll try.”
My head is spinning. “What do you mean, there’s a lot I don’t know?”
“It’s not my place to say.”
