She also gave me a pregnancy gift bag, filled with a bunch of goodies and information, and told me to make sure I take a daily prenatal pill—something I started as soon as the test readPREGNANT.
“Did you know that eighty percent of miscarriages happen in the first trimester?”
I’m reading one of the informational packets while Kane drives us home from the doctor’s appointment with Giani and Kiril following behind. They weren’t thrilled when I asked to take a separate vehicle, but I felt like this moment needed to be between just the two of us.
Thankfully, we never ran into Dr. Moore the rest of the time we were at the doctor’s office, but I’m not sure if I can risk going back, which sucks because I really like Dr. Drescher.
“Let’s focus on the positive,” Kane says, plucking the pamphletout of my hand. “You’re healthy, the baby is growing inside of you, and everything else is out of our control.”
Even though I agree, not having control is the bane of my existence, and the thought of having zero control causes panic to creep into my veins.
“I have a meeting I need to go to,” Kane says. “Do you want me to drop you off at home or the studio?”
I glance down at the pictures, wanting to share them with the people I love—and not wanting to be alone right now. “Can you drop me off at Peyton’s, please?”
I pull out my phone and text Peyton to let her know I’m coming over. She texted me earlier to wish me a good appointment and to let me know she’d be at home if I needed anything.
Peyton
Yes! Please come over. Dani is already here. We can do a girls’ day.
Brielle
Is it okay if I invite my mom and Nicole?
Peyton
Of course!
When we pull into the driveway, Kane looks at me. “Have dinner with me tonight?”
“Okay. I should be home by then. It’s only?—”
“Not like that.” He shakes his head. “I want to take you out.” He slides his finger across the sonogram image in my lap. “We have something huge to celebrate.” He frames the side of my face. “I know you’re freaking out right now. I can’t empathize since I’ve never been pregnant, but I know how much you crave control, and being pregnant is making you feel like you have none.”
I swallow thickly as tears prick my eyes. It’s insane how in sync we are. Kane might’ve forced his way into my life, but I can’t deny the way he’s burrowed himself deep inside my marrow. I don’t think there’s anyone who knows me like he does.
“Focus on what you can control.” He rubs his thumb down mycheek, and I lean into his touch, craving the comfort he gives me. “You’re taking vitamins. You eat healthy. The doctor said you can continue working out and doing Pilates, and exercise is good for you and the baby. You don’t drink or smoke. You’ve got this, Princess.”
His gaze descends to my mouth, his eyes filled with heat, and for a moment, I think he’s going to kiss me, and I realize that I want him to.
I want his kisses and hugs and affection.
I want the love he gives so freely. Maybe we didn’t start off the way most relationships should, but it doesn’t change the fact that he loves me and I love him.
I love my husband. I’ve fought so hard to have the life that I want. And I can have it with Kane, if I just let him in.
I glance up at him, wanting to tell him, but decide to wait. Sitting in the car in my brother’s driveway isn’t the time or place.
Besides, I need to make sure this is what I want. That I can forgive and let go of everything that’s happened.
39
Kane
“I needto use your warehouse. I have a special delivery I need to temporarily store.”
While my father was deep in organized crime, he kept me out of it, and after he died, his connections to the underground world died with him. I could’ve kept them going, but that would’ve meant businesses, such as the Antonovs and Russos, knowing who I was, and the only way for me to revive his company was to start fresh.
