Hours later, I was back in my apartment. Even after a warm shower and an attempt at reading, I couldn’t shake him. The memory of him—under the streetlight, his suit, the dark and spicy smell of his cologne—just wouldn’t fade. It took just a second of thinking about him for me to feel hot all over. I tried to focus on what I was reading, but I couldn’t.
I stood from the chair and went over to my bed. As I lay on my back, the image of his lips barely moving as he greeted me flashed across my mind. I bit my lower lip as I imagined what it would feel like to have those lips on mine.
My hand slid down the waistband of my pajama bottoms as my breath hitched. My heart beat faster in anticipation of what I was about to do. Something I had never done before. I didn’t know whether I was giving in to my body or getting memories of him out of my system, but my fingers went beneath the waistband and slid into my panties.
I let out a breath as I rubbed my already-wet core.
“Alexei,” I whispered without meaning to, as my middle finger entered my pussy.
I started moving my finger, picking up the pace as my imagination got more vivid. Soon, my whole body was tightening as the sensation of pleasure rose steeply, becoming a terrifying current consuming my every thought.
A gasp left my lips, followed by a breathless, shuddering, moan that seemed too loud in the stillness. My whole bodyquivered as my breath came out in soft pants, a sheen of sweat covering my skin.
As I lay limp, dazed and trembling, the realization hit me.
I want him.
For the first time, I understood the devastating, thrilling pull of a desire that I knew, with frightening clarity, I shouldn’t feel. But hadn’t the deed been done?
I had just had my first orgasm to his name.
I wanted someone I shouldn’t want.
Chapter One
Mila’s POV
I blew out a breath as I sat in front of my dresser. Tonight was a big night —despite the dozens of times Anya had insisted that it was really just a small affair—I couldn’t afford to rush through makeup for any reason. A small affair in Anya’s world was larger than the most sophisticated gala a university could throw; I didn’t need anyone to tell me that.
My goal wasn’t to be the belle of the ball by any means; it was to look good enough to feel comfortable, regardless of the gaping difference between the price of my outfit and theirs.
Besides, it was my best friend’s engagement party. I wouldn’t show up there looking like an uninvited nonentity. Since that midnight many months ago when Anya had called, almost screaming my ear off that Vissarion had proposed, I had been preparing for this day. And I wasn’t about to arrive looking like someone who got a late invite out of pity.
I gazed at my reflection in the mirror. The dewy foundation and dusty rose blush made a soft, glowing combo on my face. Encouraged, I moved on to do the smoky eyes I’d practiced several times.
After two minutes of careful artistry, my eyes had transformed from regular to party-ready, with the mascara, bronze eyeshadow, and silver platinum seamlessly blended. I moved on to my lips, applying a nude pink lipstick and clear gloss over them. I finished the makeup with my bronzer and spray.
I checked the time and saw that I had just enough.
Well, my hair’s easy.
Wearing it loose had always been the plan. It was still moist, so I applied some moisturizer, conditioned it, andbrushed it down. I stood up from the chair and went over to my bed where my dress lay. It was a blush pink dress that I had borrowed from Anya months before—and I couldn’t wait to wear it. I couldn’t have bought something so exquisite since all the money I made from freelancing went to school and living expenses. So when Anya offered, I gladly took the offer and selected the dress after trying on about a dozen.
Checking my purse one last time, I zipped it up and placed it at the edge of my dresser before putting on my silver ball earrings. I shrugged off my robe and stepped into the dress, loving the feel of the soft inner silk against my skin.
That was when Anya’s text came. My ride was downstairs, ready to bring me to the estate.
I slid on my silver sandal heels and quickly zipped up the dress. I sprayed some perfume as I quickly gave myself a final look in the mirror.
The mermaid silhouette dress was covered in intricate, shimmering sequins that appeared iridescent, catching the light to show flashes of silver, lavender, and champagne. It featured a flattering deep V-neckline supported by delicate spaghetti straps, and the fitted bodice flared out around my knees, extending into a slightly sweeping train.
With a pleased smile, I stepped out of my room.
The driver offered a curt nod as he opened my door. As I looked out the car window, I imagined what the party would be like. It was the first engagement party I would be attending, and also the first Lobanov function, since I’d known Anya. When Anya had told me that the whole family, including her cousins, might be attending, I had held back from asking if that included her older brother. He might be on a business trip, right? I had been avoiding thinking about him or the possibility of seeing him. And I had been doing really well, so far.
I didn’t need to be told when we arrived at the Lobanov estate. The gates, towering buildings, and long stretches of unpaved space looked just like they did that night several months ago.
How time flies.
