That’s not entirely true though, is it?
No, because we have Maggie.
Maggie who cries every night at bedtime because she wants her dad to tuck her in like he used to. Maggie, who wanted to call him two days ago when she lost a tooth andwas crushed when he didn’t answer. Maggie, who’s going to be devastated when I tell her he isn’t coming today.
And that, folks, is how we circle right back around to: I’m going to kill him.
He was a great dad while we were together, but over the last couple of weeks he’s faded into the background, breaking her little heart in the process. I was shocked when he didn’t show up the first time. I didn’t expect that. However, I’m sure it’s hard to find the time when he’s with his new girlfriend every fucking minute of every fucking day.
Jess runs into the room with half a face of makeup and a tube of mascara in her hand, her hair still wrapped in a towel.
“Can you watch Maggie today? My meeting’s in…” I check the time. “Twenty minutes. Casey was supposed to pick her up, but he’s not answering his goddamn phone.”
Luckily after getting the call from Gran’s attorney last week, my own lawyer was able to get me in quickly.
“I can’t. I have a photoshoot this afternoon.”
“Shit.” I could call him again, but he won’t answer. Casey has time for other people when it’s convenient for Casey, even if that other person is his own kid.
Dialing my mother, I lean over the island and rest an elbow on the granite. Anything that involves my mother is no doubt painful for everyone involved, but I don’t really have a choice.
“Hello?”
“Hey, can you watch Maggie for a bit? Casey didn’t show.”
“Sure! I’d love to. I’ll be right over.”
Setting my phone down, I groan. “I guess we’re dealing with my mother today.”
“Fantastic,” she says, sarcastically.
Rubbing my forehead, I sigh.
“You alright?”
I nod. “I’m fine. Just tired.”
She eyes me. “Are you having nightmares again?”
“Nope. Just normal tired,” I lie.
“I’m ready!” Maggie prances out of her room in a Barbie shirt and an Elsa skirt. Her pink-and-white striped backpack hangs from one shoulder. Her blonde curls bounce as her sock feet shuffle across the carpet. “Is Daddy here yet?”
My ribs squeeze. I flick my attention up to Jess, who raises her brows.
Exhaling, I say, “Maggie?—”
Her shoulders slump and her smile fades. “He’s not coming, is he?”
A knot forms in my stomach. There’s nothing that drives a stake right through my heart quite like that look on her face. I’d do anything if it meant she’d never have to feel this way again.
Kneeling in front of her, I shake my head. “I’m sorry, bug.”
Her big blue eyes fill with tears, and the backpack slides to the floor. “We were gonna go to the park today. He promised.”
I close my eyes, letting out a sharp breath. I’m sure he did promise. He’s just not good at keeping those lately. It’s his loss, but she’s not going to see it that way. She’s going to wonder for the rest of her life why her own parent didn’t want her around. She’ll probably project that onto every relationship she has, constantly wondering if they actually love her or if she’s just another obligation. Maybe she’ll spend the rest of her life searching for someone to choose her. And maybe she’ll never find that, and she’ll bealone forever, second guessing why she’ll never be enough.
That thought makes me sick to my stomach. She deserves to feel wanted and loved. She deserves to be her parents’ first priority.
