I smile but it’s half-hearted. “I thought about it.”
“You should have. You can’t let everyone walk all over you.” She pulls a package of Oreos from the top cabinet, tossing them down between us. It’s a nice gesture, but if I put one of those in my mouth, I’m going to barf. “You put him in his place about one time, and he’ll think twice before fucking with you again.”
I snort a laugh. “I don’t know. It kinda felt likewhat’s the point. He made his choice. Why drag it out?”
“Uh, because he hurt you.” She rests a hand on the counter and props the other on her hip. “He deserves to suffer.”
My chest grows heavy. Tears prick my eyes, and I try to blink them away but fail. One falls, landing on the back of my hand. “I don’t want him to suffer. I want him to love me.”
And I hate how pathetic that sounds. I’d do anything not to feel like this. I loved him when my eyes opened this morning, and despite his betrayal, I still love him. I don’t know that you can everunlove someone.
But right now, the only thing that could pull the white-hot knife from my chest is him. If he’d change his mind, the curdling in my stomach would cease. We’d have to work through some shit, but the pain would be over.
My chin quivers, and I growl. I admit, it’s not the most attractive noise I’ve ever made, but fuck it.
“Should we call Nik?” Jess asks.
“Absolutely not!” I wipe my cheeks with the heel of my palm. “She might murder him if she comes to town. Plus, she’ll tell Shane, and then I’ll have to listen to my big brother explain that he always knew Casey was a piece of shit.”
She flicks a brow, muttering from behind her wine glass, “Like he has any room to talk.”
“Right. You see why we can’t call her then.”
She grimaces. “I mean, it might be kind of fun to sic her on Casey. She’ll fuck him up better than either of us could.”
I cock my head. “I don’t want her to fuck him up, Jess. That’s the point I’m trying to make.”
She throws up her hands defensively. “Alright. I get it. I’m just saying, you know you’d feel better with her here.”
She’s not wrong. Nik would absolutely make me feel better, but I have enough on my plate without my brother in the mix.
“The last thing I want is to drag anyone from Ravens Ridge into my mess. I’ll tell them eventually, but not yet.”
With a deep breath, she slaps the counter. “Well, you and Maggie are welcome to stay here as long as you need.”
“Thank you.”
“What are you gonna tell her?”
“I don’t know.” She refills my glass when I push it her way. “I can’t even fathom breaking her heart like that.”
She grimaces. “I mean, he’s still her dad. And, as muchas I don’t want to give him credit right now, he’s always been a really good one. Divorced parents suck, but it’s not the end of the world. I mean, look atme.” She holds her hands out. “My parents did a great job, and they’ve been divorced the biggest part of my life.”
“And what if he walks away?”
“Ash…” She reaches across the island and takes my hand. “He’s not your dad.”
I nod, rolling my lips under. “I just don’t want her to feel like she’s not wanted.”
“I know. But I don’t think she’ll ever feel like that. No matter what happens, she has you, and there’s no way she could deny how much you love her.”
I let out a guttural sound before dropping my head to my hands. “I’m gonna have to tell my mother.”
“Hey, maybe she’ll promote Shane to the favorite and stay off your case for a while.”
A real laugh escapes me. “I don’t think eventhatcould make him the favorite.”
“Yeah. Probably not.” Her laugh fades. “When I talked to Nik yesterday, she said he’s doing really well.”
