He places his hand on the small of my back.
“Are you seeing anyone?” he asks.
“No.” I shake my head. “You?”
“No.” He laughs. “It’d be pretty shitty for me to hit on you if I were, wouldn’t it?”
Shitty, indeed.
The bartender hands me another drink, and we head back out to the dance floor. The more I drink, the more I loosen up.
After a couple of shots, Collin slides into a chair, pulling me onto his lap before handing me another drink. His hands find my waist, and it all feels easy. Like maybe I could be a girl who casually meets a guy at a bar and loses herself for a while. I’ve had enough feelings and emotions for a lifetime. I only want his attention. He can keep everything else.
Nik grabs my arm. “Hey, unless you’re planning ongoing home with that guy, you might want to slow down, babe.”
He leans in, kissing my neck, and I break out in goosebumps.
“It’s just fun. I’m fine!”
I throw back a shot, but as I lay it back on the table, I knock over a glass and then burst into laughter.The room spins while I regain my balance.
“Okay. I have to pee. Will you be okay for a minute?”
I nod, brushing her off.
Collin grabs my face, and his lips crash into mine. There are no sparks, and my stomach doesn’t flip, doesn’t even flinch. It’s not like it was with the others; there’s no feeling behind it, but it’s nice to feel like someone wants me.
His tongue meets mine, and suddenly, it’s six years ago, and I’m not broken. This isn’t me and some random guy in a bar; it’s me and the first boy I ever truly loved, sitting by the lake, his hands in my hair. I get lost in it, and for the first time in what feels like forever, I’m free. Like I’ve been plucked right out of my life and placed somewhere sweeter.
But then I open my eyes, the spell’s broken. This is a bar, and he’s not the boy I loved so much it ruined me.
He rakes his eyes over me. “Fuck, you’re really pretty.”
My stomach drops.
Pretty.
I hate that word.
Pushing it from my mind, I close my eyes and lean in for more, hoping to go back to the world that only exists in the mind of a broken, drunk girl.
13
GABE
MAY PRESENT DAY
Iwas drinking at the clubhouse when JT talked me into ditching to go to the bar.
It’s packed. We order a couple beers before settling into two stools with our backs to the bar. It’s not often that we step away from the club and go out, but it’s nice to be able to relax. I don’t have to worry about Shane doing something stupid, or a fight breaking out. This place isn’t my responsibility the way the club bar is.
That is, until I scan the room.
My eyes spot a blonde straddling some guy in the corner. His hands are in her curls, and the hair on the back of my neck stands up. I grind my molars.
Fuck me.There goes my stress-free night.
“Yeah, I’m not staying long.” I lean toward JT.
