“You’re trouble.”
“Yeah. Probably.”
He grabs my hand and pulls me to him, wrapping his arm around my waist. His fingers press into the small of my back. My heart does a somersault, my mind not landing on a single thought.
It’s always like this with him. When his eyes are on me, everything else ceases to exist. It’s just him. No matter how bad I wish it weren’t true, there’s no way out of the web we’ve tangled ourselves in.
I want us to be friends, but that’s not possible, is it? I found the love of my life at fifteen years old, and now I’ll live the rest of it surviving off of nothing but memories.
Even if we have this dance, even if I go upstairs with him, there’s too much pain in the rearview for us to make this work.
“You look beautiful.”
I can’t stare directly at him; if I do, I’ll get swept away in his current. That’s what he does to me. He’ll undoubtedly pull me under if I let my guard down for one second. If my heart’s a compass, he’s north.
He’s always north.
I know I shouldn’t, but I want one more night with him. Just one more hit, because make no mistake, I’m addicted to Gabriel Abbott.
43
GABE
OCTOBER PRESENT DAY
If I were a better man, I’d leave her alone. I’d let her believe we could be nothing. I’d let her have a life that doesn’t involve reliving the pain I caused her.
But I’m not.
I’ve tried, but I’m too selfish not to have her.
She’s mine, always has been, and I’m sick of fighting it. I knew the second she strutted over she’d fall into me tonight. I could see it on her face. She’s tired too, and I’ll always be her soft place to land.
I wouldn’t want it any other way.
She looks like she knows where this is headed, and I’d like to say she seems happy about it, but she’s scared. I know how much I’ve hurt her, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to fix it, but I have to.
With her arms around my neck, she asks, “Why didn’t you move on?”
“You know why.”
Her fingers move idly across the nape of my neck. “Yeah, but six years is a long time to be alone. You never thought maybe you could be happy with someone else?”
I shake my head.
“Weren’t you lonely?”
“I would have been even if I’d been with someone else. No one gets me like you.” I shrug. “It’s always been you.”
Her eyes drop to my mouth, and holy shit, I think I’ve been electrocuted. I’ve kissed her one time in the last six years. It wasn’t enough. She stops swaying, lets her hand drop to my chest, and doesn’t move. I can’t tell if she’s trying to decide what she wants or how to tell me she doesn’t want this. If I weren’t desperate, I might say something to let her off the hook.
“It’s still you.”
Finally, she sucks in a sharp breath, grips the back of my neck, and pulls me to her. Her berry-colored lips just brush mine at first. Then, something between us snaps. Her mouth presses into mine, and it’s like sleeping in your own bed for the first time after a long week away.
With a hand on her back, I press her closer and deepen the kiss. Her lips part, and I dip my tongue into her mouth. She tastes like that fruity drink I threw on the floor. The room around us keeps going, but I can’t tell because I’m solely focused on this moment.
She breaks the kiss, and her eyes lift to me. To hide her grin, she bites her bottom lip.
