She gets right in my face. “You had your whole fucking club to get you through it. Hell, you even still have my brother. I had no one! I grieved alone! I healed alone! And I made my fucking decision alone!”
My chest heaves, but I can’t find the words to say. Every nerve in my body feels exposed, and the eyes watching us feel like they’re burning my flesh from my bones.
There’s no air left. My throat tightens.
“I can’t do this,” I mutter, tearing open the door and climbing in my truck before looking at Lily. “Tell Shane he knows where he can find me.”
I need to get the hell out of here. I can’t do this. Not right now and definitely not in front of half the damn town at a gas station.
I’ve not felt whole since the day Ash left, but this is a brand-new type of empty because there’s no solution that fixes this.
I’m silent on the way back to theshop, not exploding until I finally put it in park. Then a guttural scream leaves my throat, and I slam my hands on the steering wheel. Over and over and over.
Letting my head fall back on the seat when I’m done, I grip the wheel until my knuckles blanch, and my chest heaves as I catch my breath.
I’d give anything to talk to my dad right now. That might sound strange considering he was one of the people telling me to send her away in the first place, but he’d know what I’m supposed to do now. He’d tell me how to make this right. He wasn’t perfect, and I had mixed emotions about him when he died, but he tried to be a good dad. And in a lot of ways, he was.
Once I’ve half-ass collected myself, I go inside and find a spot at the clubhouse bar to throw myself a pity party.
I open the top of a cheap bottle of whiskey and pour a glass.Fuck her for doing this.
I pour another.Fuck this club for taking her from me in the first goddamn place.
And another.Fuck me for letting her go.
Another.
The door swings open and blood roars in my ears.
And fuck Shane for not telling me.
“Gabe—”
Charging toward him, I shove his shoulders. “Did you know?”
“Gabe, listen.” He throws his hands up.
Pinning him to the wall, all I see is red. “Did you fucking know!”
My hands shake. I’m ready to rip his head from his body. The look on his face says it all, but I want to hear him say it.
“Yeah, I knew,” he says softly, looking down.
Scoffing, I shove him before running my hands through my hair.
“You have to understand?—”
“Understand? You want me to understand that I have a fucking kid no one told me about?” Spit flies from my mouth as I shove him back again.“You’re supposed to be my best friend!”
I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that the life I dreamt of with Ash was happening all this time without me knowing. Or the fact that now I know and can’t have it.
“I know.” He closes his eyes tightly.
“Yeah, you know.”I shake my head, trying to collect my thoughts. “Six years, Shane. Six fucking years you’ve all been lying to me.”
“She was broken, man. Like, really fucking broken because of you.” He points his finger at me, and I swear to God it takes everything I have not to reach out and break it.
“Yeah, and why is that, huh?” Answering my own question, I shout, “It’s because no one fucking told me!”
