Leon, looking down the street and seeing the restaurant sign, nodded. ‘Some of the crew came here the other evening. Said it was good.’
As they tucked into their starters, Leon said casually to Helena, ‘Did you know Mum has been to Antibes before?’
Startled, Helena looked at Joan. ‘Have you? Why didn’t you say?’
‘It was a long time ago.’ Joan shrugged. ‘Coming with the two of you makes it a special time in itself.’ She smiled at them both.
‘I must admit I’d quite like a proper holiday down here. How long were you here?’ Helena asked. ‘Did you come with Dad?’
Joan shook her head. ‘It was before I met your dad and I wasn’t on holiday. I was working.’
This time, both Helena and Leon gave her a startled look.
‘Working?’
‘Yes. I was twenty-four, I needed a job and a friend had a contact down here and I got one on a yacht based here in Antibes for the summer. It was great.’Until it wasn’t, she added silently to herself.
‘What did you do?’ Helena asked.
‘I was called a stewardess, but really I spent most of my time looking after the two young children on board.’
‘I’ve always wondered where my love of the sea came from,’ Leon said thoughtfully. ‘Now I know.’
Joan shook her head. ‘Not really from me. I only did it for one season, not even a whole one, about eight weeks before I returned to England. It was never meant to be more than a summer job. I didn’t plan on a career working in the yachting industry like you are doing.’
‘But you’ve never been back until now,’ Leon said thoughtfully. ‘Never told us about working on a yacht before. Why?’
‘There’s no mystery,’ Joan said crossly. ‘Children rarely know all about their parents’ lives before they became parents. And once you have children, life is different. Priorities change. We had busy lives, your dad couldn’t always find a locum in the school summer holidays, and travelling with children is not always easy. Could you pour me some more wine please.’
Leon poured the wine and replaced the bottle on the table and glanced at the signet ring on its chain still hidden under her top before looking directly at Joan. ‘Was that the time your friend gave you the ring on the chain you’re wearing?’
‘Yes, it was. It was also one of the happiest times of my life,’ Joan said quietly. ‘Can we please now change the subject.’
Helena, cross with her brother for asking so many questions and wondering why her mother was getting so agitated, nodded. ‘Of course,’ and she started talking about how much she’d enjoyed the early-morning swims. But Leon wasn’t going to give up that easily.
‘As it’s my birthday, you have to be nice to me, so please can you indulge me with something?’
Joan looked at him and waited. ‘Depends on what it is.’
‘Will you talk to me about my biological father? All you and Dad have ever told me is his name and that he died before I was born.’
Joan blanched and closed her eyes. She knew Leon was not going to let the subject drop, but she didn’t have any more details to give him. A rogue thought slid uninvited into her mind. Would researching the provenance of a certain photograph throw up some new, previously unknown information? Could she even bear to try?
Joan opened her eyes and looked at Leon. ‘I will talk to you, but not tonight.’ When Leon gave an exasperated sigh, she made a sweeping gesture with her hand, willing him to be quiet. ‘I will talk to you about your father soon I promise you. But tonight is not the right time. Now please, let’s at least try to enjoy our meal.’
* * *
Back at the hotel after the birthday dinner that in the end had struggled to be celebratory, Joan slowly got ready for bed. She didn’t know what had prompted Leon’s determined questioning that evening, but it was unsettling.
What a couple of days. A lovely evening celebrating Helena’s birthday – followed by the shock in the hallway at Villa Celestia saying goodnight to Helena and Mandy. And now tonight Leon pushing for answers to questions about the past. Answers she didn’t have to give him. If she hadn’t come down here this week, would he have asked all these questions the next time he was home?
Once in bed, Joan found it impossible to sleep. Thoughts chased around her mind on a continuous loop. Was it only last night she’d almost recoiled from that photograph before deciding to ignore it? The possibility of it throwing any light on past events was so slight as to be almost non-existent. But what if there was something to be learned; something that would answer at least one or two of Leon’s questions? Personally, she wanted to leave the past in the past. But knowing her son, now he’d started to ask questions he was unlikely to stop. It had become clear this evening that Leon had set his mind to learning more about his biological father, even though he’d loved Harry as his father. Joan pushed the old guilty thoughts away, blaming herself for not knowing enough about his father to be able to paint a proper picture for Leon.
As much as she resolved there was no way she was going to open up old wounds and that Leon would surely understand if she simply explained her feelings a little more fully, the option of asking questions herself and possibly opening up the past for inspection kept overriding that choice. Dawn was breaking over the Mediterranean when she finally gave in and decided she had to investigate, not only for Leon’s sake but for herself. She might have made peace years ago with the death of Leon’s father, but deep down he still possessed a certain part of her heart.
Joan exhaled a deep breath, almost wishing she’d chosen to fly home Friday morning. Then there simply wouldn’t be time to investigate anything. Tomorrow afternoon she could have been back in her own bed. Away from all Leon’s questions. Away from having to ask her own questions of a stranger, to hopefully receive answers she could tell Leon. Because, like it or not, she knew had to do this for herself as much as for her son.
* * *
