He looked up into Adam’s face and smiled.
Todd leant past him and bent down to Lily, dropping the lightest of kisses on her cheek.
‘Hey, Mum, how are you doing?’
‘Peachy,’ Lily said, her face softening the way it had done for over forty years whenever she looked at her son.
The first time Josh had witnessed the phenomenon had been in a room not dissimilar to the one they were currently occupying. A slippery, squirming infant, still slick with blood, as though he’d fought a battle to get there, had been placed into Lily’s outstretched arms and her face had transformed into an expression that Josh had thought only angels wore. He’d never seen anyone fall in love before, never witnessed the moment when one soul connected with another and formed a bond that could never be broken.
Josh had always suspected it would be that way for Lily the first time she laid eyes on her child. What he hadn’t known – what he’d never even dared to hope for – was that it would be exactly the same for him. But it had been.
Todd reached into the canvas record bag slung over his shoulder and passed Josh a large leather-bound book. ‘I think this is the one Mum was asking for.’
Lily’s eyes had once again fluttered to a close. It was happening all the time now.
Josh took the photograph album from his son’s hand and looked down at the unfamiliar book, fairly sure he’d never seen this particular volume before.
‘It was at the back of Mum’s wardrobe and not in the loft with the others,’ Todd said with an indulgent shake of his head. ‘Incidentally, there’s an awful lot of stuff up there.’
‘You say stuff, I say memories,’ Josh replied, his eyes going to the hospital bed. ‘Pretty amazing memories,’ he finished, his voice a little hoarse.
Lily’s eyes were still closed, but her parched lips curved into the semblance of a smile. Josh lifted the hand he was holding and pressed a kiss on to the hot, dry skin. Todd, who’d had a front row seat to a love story so powerful that not even his mother’s passing would end it, felt something begin to unravel within him. He was horribly afraid that if he started to cry now, he might not be able to stop.
He had no idea how his father was going to cope with losing her. He had no idea how he would either. All at once Todd wished he hadn’t told his wife, Lucy, that it would be better if she and the twins stayed at home. He needed them now, and he suspected that Josh might too. The man sitting opposite him, who’d never fathered a child of his own, had turned out to be a pretty amazing dad and grandfather.
‘Have you eaten anything today, Dad?’ Todd asked now, his expression darkening with concern as he studied the older man properly.
‘I’m not hungry, son,’ Josh murmured, his own eyes fixed on Lily’s face. He knew every line, every freckle, every curve. He knew when she was in pain, however much she attempted to hide it. And it was bad now. Really bad.
Lily’s eyes fluttered open and scanned the room as though looking for someone.
‘Lucy and the girls are at home,’ Todd said in a rush, the panic of a ticking clock on its final countdown making his voice sound strange.
‘Can you go and get them?’
Todd’s eyes darted from his mother’s face, the skin scarily translucent, and then flashed to Josh’s and finally to the clock on the wall. His reluctance to leave was etched into every feature.
‘Please, Todd,’ Lily said, her voice more of a croak now than it had been just an hour earlier.
‘Okay,’ Todd said, getting to his feet, and crossing to the door on legs that appeared weirdly jerky. ‘But it’s going to take me a while to get there and back.’ He paused as though waiting for one of his parents to object, but neither did. ‘Alright then. I’ll be as quick as I can.’
He went to leave but paused for a long moment with one hand on the doorknob. Slowly he turned back around, and Josh saw the tears coursing silently down his cheeks. Todd returned to the bed and Josh stepped aside as his son gently slid his hands beneath Lily’s bony shoulders and hugged her before pressing a kiss on to her cheek.
‘I love you, Mum.’
Lily’s face was serene as she stared up at her only child. ‘I love you too, Todd. To the moon and back.’ They were the words she always used to say to him as a child before leaving his room each night, and if Todd didn’t get the significance of why she was saying them now, Josh definitely did.
As the door of the room closed, he heard Todd’s broken sob before his hurrying feet carried him away.
‘He didn’t need to be here for this,’ Lily said, her eyes burning with an intensity that was greater than even the pain Josh knew she was in.
‘Let me get someone to come and see if they can give you something,’ he begged, his hand hovering over the call button.
‘No, my love. I don’t want to miss a moment of being here with you.’
‘What can I do?’ Josh asked helplessly, knowing he was surely letting her down by crying again, but he just couldn’t help it.
‘Nothing. You’ve done it all. You’ve given me everything I ever wanted or needed. All I need now is to know that you’re here.’
