‘But that’s not the real reason you don’t want to see where this could go, is it?’
I shook my head sadly.
‘It’s because of Amelia,’ he said.
I swallowed down my disappointment, but it had left a bitter aftertaste in my mouth. ‘I don’t see how there’s any way I could be involved with you. Not now. Not ever. We can’t have a relationship that my family don’t know about.’
‘Because I look like someone who doesn’t exist.’ Nick might be doing his best to hide it, but I could hear the frustration in his voice.
‘For Amelia, youdoexist. You’re the man she believes she’s married to.’ I reached up and allowed my fingers to gently touch his cheek. ‘This is the face she loves.’
‘And what about you?’ he asked, making it so much harder to reply when he turned his head and gently kissed the hollow of my palm.
‘I love my sister. I’d never do anything to hurt her.’
‘Of course you wouldn’t. But what about you? Would Amelia really want you to sacrifice something that could be very, very real, for something that isn’t? Surely she’d want you to be happy too?’
‘I’m sure she does. But not if the place I find that happiness is in the arms of the man she loves.’
‘Who doesn’t exist,’ Nick repeated sadly, as though either of us could ever have forgotten that fact. His sigh was long and deep, carrying away all ourwhat might have beens in its wake.
‘I guess all we can do then is make the most of the next four weeks,’ he said. ‘We could meet whenever you’re free – even if it’s only for a quick coffee, or something.’
‘It won’t be enough,’ I said gloomily. ‘And it’ll just make it harder to say goodbye.’
He pulled me into his arms again, silencing my protests with one more kiss.
‘Let’s at least try,’ Nick said. He was making it very hard to say no, or even think straight, with his body pressing against mine in all the right places.
I glanced back anxiously towards the cottage. ‘We’d have to meet in secret. Amelia could never, ever find out. It would destroy her.’
‘I understand that.’
He reached for my hand and lifted it to his lips, while his eyes stayed locked on mine. ‘I’m not ready for this to end yet,’ he said.
‘We’re going to break each other’s hearts,’ I predicted softly.
‘No, we won’t,’ Nick said with a confidence that was surely misplaced. ‘We’ve got this.’
22
‘I had the craziest dream last night.’
I paused in the act of whisking eggs in a Pyrex bowl to give Amelia my full attention. ‘If it’s an erotic one, I’d just as soon not hear it.’
She gave a snort of laughter, but then her face grew more serious. ‘It could easily have gone that way, although I was a voyeur rather than a participant.’
‘Kinky,’ I said, picking up a fork and turning my attention back to the eggs.
‘Don’t you want to hear it?’ she asked, pushing her sleep-tousled hair back from her face.
‘Go on then,’ I said, switching on the hob and tossing a slab of butter into the frying pan. I made sure my features were suitably neutral, wondering why everyone always thinks the random images conjured up by their sleeping brain are as fascinating to other people as they are to the dreamer. They never are.
Except today, they were.
‘I dreamt I saw you walking on the beach in the middle of the night.’
I swallowed noisily, but luckily the butter was sizzling loudly enough to hide it.
