His smile was wry. ‘I know that now. But I wouldn’t if your sister hadn’t told me. Why didn’t you let me know you were still here, Lexi?’
Here was the moment I’d been dreading. The words were all there, clawing their way up my throat, but I couldn’t bear to do this to him. Not again. So instead, I said the ones I never thought I would, because if I didn’t say them now, I’d never get another chance.
‘Before I say anything else, I want you to know that I’ve fallen in love with you too,’ I told him, repeating the declaration he’d made to me on this very beach. ‘I’m sorry I never said it back to you that day.’
Behind his glasses, I saw tears welling in his eyes. I’d made him cry. Damn. I promised myself I’d never do that again. How many more times was I going to break this man’s heart?
Nick brought us to a stop and took both of my hands in his. ‘I need you to know that Amelia has told me everything. I know about the FAD and the reason you don’t want to let me back into your life.’
This time it was my turn to cry.
‘I can’t do that to you, Nick.’
His hands slid up my arms, coming to a rest on my shoulders.
‘That’s not your decision to make. You can decide not to have the test. You can decide to live in New York or Somerset or any damn country in the world. But you don’t get to decide who I want to love for the rest of my life, because onlyIcan do that. And I’ve already made up my mind. That person is you.’
I placed my hands on the solid wall of his chest, trying to harness some strength from the reverberating beat of his heart. I didn’t dare look at his face. Seeing the impact of my words would have derailed me.
‘It’s not fair to you,’ I told his shirt buttons. ‘You have a right to know if the person you’re thinking of spending your future with actually has one.’
Nick flinched at my words. I felt it in every cell of my body.
‘Whether you choose to have the test or not isnothingto do with me,’ he said, his voice hoarse. ‘If you want to find out, then great, I’ll support you in every way I can. I’ll come with you for counselling and be by your side whether the result is negative or positive. But know one thing: it will make absolutely no difference to how I feel about you.’
‘It will, Nick. Ithasto. Looking after a partner with Alzheimer’s isn’t what you signed up for.’
‘There’s only one thing I’m signing up for,’ Nick said, his voice cracking with the intensity of his feelings. ‘And that’s loving you for the rest of my days and yours. There’s only one reason for you to walk away from me, and that’s because you don’t love me the way that I love you.’
He pulled me gently into his arms. ‘No relationship comes with a guarantee, Lexi,’ Nick whispered. ‘There are no crystal balls. When you love someone, it’s a huge joyous leap into the unknown. And I’m leaping with you.’
In every lifetime, there will be one moment that you know you’ll remember until the day you die. This was mine.
Nick’s head was slowly dipping towards me.
‘Are you going to kiss me now?’ I breathed against his lips.
‘I am,’ he replied.
And then he did.
33
Forty-five minutes after we left, we were back at the row of beachside cottages, stamping the sand from our shoes.
‘I have no idea how this is going to go down,’ I told him, glancing worriedly towards Amelia’s home. In reply, Nick reached for my hand and squeezed it gently. His thumb swept back and forth across my palm as we walked the short distance to the front door. When we were out of view of every window, he kissed me again, hard and fast.
‘We’ve got this,’ he said, releasing my hand and capturing my heart in the same moment.
Everyone was gathered in the lounge when I led us back inside. Nick possessed the kind of easy charm that I suspected always went down well with mums, and mine was no exception. She greeted him warmly and even expressed disappointment that he hadn’t brought Mabel with him today.
‘Her table manners still need a little work,’ he said, his eyes twinkling.
‘Oh well, maybe next time,’ Mum replied.
With old-fashioned good manners, Tom got to his feet when we walked in and gripped the hand Nick extended in greeting.
‘Nice to see you again,’ Nick said.
