James only shrugged.
“Are you trying to punish me for being honest with you?” Cassian made a sound in between a scoff and a sigh. “I was merely trying to explain my beliefs about romantic love. Andyouwere the one to bring up love in the first place. Even though it’s not at all relevant to my problems with Ethel.”
Nothing.
Cassian’s muscles tensed. If James wasn’t going to talk to him, then he’d leave.
“Fine, be a child,” Cassian spat as he stood.
James caught the cuff of his jacket.
“I’m not punishing you,” he said softly.
Cassian sat back down beside him, and James let go.
“Why aren’t you talking to me, then?” Cassian asked.
“Because I’m not sure what to say, Cassian. It feels like wecan’ttalk. Not about this. It’s like we’re not even speaking the same language. Anything I eventhinkof saying with regard to love or marriage or your engagement... I mean, what would be the point of it? You’re obviously very set in what you believe about those things.”
Cassian reached up to scrub his forehead with his fingertips. He hadn’t meant to make James feel as though the twoof them couldn’t talk. Hell, he had paid that random steward God-only-knows how much money so that theycouldtalk.
“Alright, fine, then,” Cassian said. “Obviously,youbelieve in love, yes?”
“Yes.”
“Romantic love?”
James rolled his eyes. “Yes.”
“Well, why?”
“Just . . . because.”
“Ah, but somehowmyfeelings are irrational.”
“I never said—”
“So, then, why?” Cassian asked, making his tone slightly playful, if only so this whole ordeal might be easier. “Do you believe in it because you yourself have been in love? Or is it because you’ve read about love? Or because you’ve secretly studied psychology?”
He nudged James with his elbow a couple of times, and James smiled a little.
“It’s...” James sighed. “It’s because I’ve been in love.”
Cassian’s stomach seized.
“You’ve been in love,” Cassian repeated. His pain worsened as he forced out the words, though he tried to keep his voice even when he said them. “Romantic love.”
Even though he still didn’t exactly believe in such a thing, to know that James not only believed in it but had experienced it himself...
Cassian’s muscles contracted as he experienced another stab of pain. He finally noticed that James’s pinchable cheeks had turned red. And the moment they then locked eyes, Cassian’s own face began to warm, too.
Both men looked at the carpet.
All of a sudden, Cassian wanted nothing more than to know every Goddamned thing about this woman whom James hadpreviously loved while also wishing that he could unhear James’s confession entirely. Scowling, Cassian began chewing on his fingernails as the notion of James Thomas Morrowin loveburrowed into his skin.
“Do you want me to tell you about it?” James asked. “If only so that you can see thatfor some people, such a thing exists?”
Cassian shrugged. He bit off one of his fingernails and spat it onto the floor.
