“Does she know who you are?”
His question gives me pause. She may not know who I am in the context of our world—la Cosa Nostra. But she knows who I am deep down. As I lie on the cold hard ground, I face the stark truth: whether I like it or not, Erin and I have a connection that goes beyond mere attraction. A part of me knew it when I dropped a tray of coffees on her. She lit something in me that simply won’t die down, and I see the same fire in her deep blue eyes.
I give him the simplest answer.
“No.”
Gian shifts, wincing as he pushes himself upright. “I know you don’t pay me for my advice but I’m gonna give it anyway.”
I sit up slowly and rub a hand around the back of my neck. “Go on.”
“One, you need to decide if a relationship is what you want. There ain’t no point in ‘fessing up if she accepts it then you get cold feet.”
I breathe heavily.
“Two, you need to be prepared for her to run, and ready for when she rats you out to the cops.”
“She might not.” I can’t contain the hopefulness in my throat.
He ignores my optimism. “Three, you also have to be prepared for her to want you back.”
“What do you mean?”
“No one talks about what happens when you finally get the girl. Your future goesbang, right in front of your face. Suddenly, you’re accounting for two of you in every plan you lay out. And it isn’t a choice. It’s what you want. You bend and you mold your life to fit her in it, and it’s fucking scary. I should know.”
My brow softens when I remember the time Gian met his wife, Lila. He was happier than I’d ever seen him, but shell-shocked.
“Guess I have some thinking to do.”
“There is a Four.”
I look up, hopeful. “What’s that?”
“You could have fun for a week, nothing serious. Just don’t let her in.”
I snort faintly, because she’s alreadyin. In my head, in my eyeballs, in my goddamn groin. She’s gotten under my skin in a way I didn’t plan for.
And I don’t know which is worse. Wanting her, or knowing I shouldn’t.
“Get cleaned up,” I tell him, pushing to my feet and rolling my shoulders to work out the stiffness already setting in. “I’ll fix you in a minute.”
Erin
Holding my phone out in front of me, I follow the direction of the dot. It takes me down the stairs and out of the main exit.
The welcome desk is empty—there’s no one around, not even security.
I force myself to breathe steadily and put one foot in front of the other. Everywhere is silent, except for the sound of a soft, cool breeze tickling the branches overhead.
I move off the main path and into a thicker part of woodland. Ahead I can see more buildings, mostly dark. Only one appears to have light coming from inside it. Checking the map I wonder if that’s where August is.
I pause in the crisp undergrowth so I can listen for any telltale noises. After a few minutes of nothing, I’m about to move my feet again when I hear it. The rough grunts of a male voice and thethwump, thwumpof repetitive movement.
My heart folds in on itself. Is someone having sex out here? Is it him?
Oh God, I didn’t think this through.
I debate turning around and heading back to the suite, but I’ve come this far. I need to know.
