I watched the fan spin some more.
He wouldn’t do it.
The day he tied me to the bed would be the day I killed him, one way or another. He knew that. We'd experimented plenty in my dreams, but the scars on my wrists and ankles were bad enough that he'd never even brought that possibility up.
My eyelids grew heavier.
I really didn't want to fall asleep, but I was exhausted, and the unrelenting overwhelm of my magic had eased a little thanks to his shadows.
Grayson moved a bit as he tried to get comfortable.
"You can force me to sleep in the bed, but I could still stay awake all night," I lied. "I'm good at that."
"You've proven yourself plenty capable over the years."
I did it once a month or so. Stayed awake all night and slept during the day, to throw him off. The longest I'd ever done it was five days, and his skin had been grayish when he appeared in my dreams the afternoon of day five. If he didn't visit me, he didn't eat. And if he didn't eat, his magic would consume him.
After the five days, he'd spent the entire afternoon and night in my dreams with his face and hands between my thighs, giving me pleasure and drinking it in until he was so sated he was basically glowing.
He never got off in my dreams. I'd asked him about it once, and he said it wasn't possible for an incubus or succubus to get off that way. If they were to climax, they'd lose their hold on the dream. It sounded like a focus problem more than anything.
I hadn't allowed myself to feel any way about it, but I'd assumed he was fucking other people while visiting my dreams. A century without sex seemed like far too long for an incubus, and he certainly had never tried to fuck me in person.
Anyway, I hadn't gone more than three days without letting Grayson feed from me since the five-day mess. When my people reported that things were going poorly in the Shadow District and he was fighting a lot, I made sure it happened every day.
Things had been fine in his district, but difficult for me, before he announced his engagement to Gwen. I'd felt like I needed a break from him while hearing Callum's plans to abduct Kat (and watching them happen), so I only let him feed from me every three days for a few weeks. It was the longest I’d ever made him go hungry.
I’d felt bad about it before he announced his engagement to Gwen, and felt irrationally hurt when he did.
In the long run, it led me to the bed I was currently sharing with him, so it was obviously a mistake.
There was no point in dwelling on it, though. There was no way to go back.
With Grayson's shadows still wrapped around me, making me comfortable and easing my magic, I couldn't help the way my eyelids drooped.
I wasn't going to be able to stay up all night.
"You should find someone else," I murmured. "Visit someone else. Mate with someone else"
"Where would be the fun in that?"
"It's not about fun, Darke."
"Then what is it about?"
I didn't reply.
There wasn't an answer I could give him that would convince him.
"Did youwantto visit anyone else’s dreams?" I finally asked.
I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since he brought it up.
"No. I was yours long before I learned that we were fated mates. Now that I know you're mine too, you’ll neverbe free of me. Even if I have to tie you to this bed or start a war that we both know I'll lose. You belong to me."
"Killing people is a terrible way to seduce someone. I’m an expert. I would know."
He chuckled. "Sleep well."
