He had not known – not fully – how much he wished to see her until that moment. Nor how intolerable the thought of losing her could be. He had known about Mr. Collins’ intentions but had treated them only as an inconvenience.
How could she accept such an offer?
For one wild instant, he blamed her. The thought sprang up before reason could restrain it.
Elizabeth – Elizabeth Bennet – engaged to that man.
But the injustice of the impulse struck him almost immediately.
How could she refuse?
What had he ever done to claim her regard? What encouragement had he offered? What declaration had he made that might have warned her that she was valued – that she was desired?
She did not know. She could not know.The realisation fell upon him with humiliating clarity.
She does not know she is wanted.
Darcy drew a slow breath, though the effort cost him more composure than he cared to acknowledge.
And still she stood upon the staircase.
In that instant, every hesitation he had indulged, every careful reserve he had maintained, appeared to him in its true light – not prudence, but cowardice.
He wanted her.
Not merely to see her, not merely to admire her wit or spirit – but to claim her regard openly and without disguise.
And the thought that he might already have lost that chance struck him with a force he had never before experienced.
Elizabeth had reached the final step by now and paused upon the stair, still looking at him with some curiosity. Mr. Darcy’s expression was so unlike his usual composure that it immediately caught her attention.
“Mr. Darcy,” she said, “you appear quite alarmed.”
Darcy started slightly, as though recalled to himself.
“Miss Elizabeth…” He hesitated, then spoke again, almost involuntarily. “You’re engaged?”
Elizabeth looked momentarily surprised. “I beg your pardon?”
Darcy seemed to gather himself, though not entirely successfully. “To Mr. Collins.”
Elizabeth stared at him for the briefest instant before understanding dawned.
Then she laughed. “Good heavens, no.”
Mrs. Bennet, who had been listening with growing impatience, interposed immediately. “Lizzy, what are you talking about, child? Mr. Collins never proposed to you!”
Elizabeth descended the last step calmly. “I am aware of that, Mama.”
She turned back to Darcy, still amused. “If he had asked me, however, I should certainly have refused him.”
Mrs. Bennet threw up her hands in horror. “Refused him! Why ever would you refuse such an offer?”
Elizabeth answered with perfect composure. “Because I could not make him happy, Mama.” She paused a moment. “And he would most certainly not make me happy.”
Mrs. Bennet looked quite scandalised. “My dear Lizzy! You might have been mistress of this house one day.”
Elizabeth smiled faintly. “I believe that distinction will suit Mary far better.”
