The ground moves below my feet.
No.
No, no, no, no?—
“Valen.” Whatever Chief was about to say is drowned out by the blood rushing in my ears.
A lifetimes’ worth of memories blast through me.
Not a trickle. Not fragments. A flood that crashes through the walls of my mind.
“It’s just a game, Valen. We’re going to play a trick. He’ll think his car is broken, and we’ll all laugh.”
“The new friend won’t be mad I touched it? Aunt Vivi said I shouldn’t touch other people’s stuff.”
“I’m not Aunt Vivi,” Terra screams in my face.
“That’s it, sweetheart. Just cut that tube right there. Good boy. Such a good boy.”
I was so proud. Terra had even hugged me.
Then we had a new guest in Terra’s special room. I wasn’t allowed upstairs the rest of that summer.
That’s when she turned Calla into Clover while convincing me the entire “car prank” was a dream.
I’m going to be sick.
“Valen,” Clover’s voice sounds far away. “Breathe. Just breathe.”
This is the weight I’ve carried every day since.
More memories crash through, squeezing my head in a vice. It’s too much all at once. I have a job to do. Protect Clover. But I can’t even see her through the blurry haze of memories.
Clover crying under our tree.
Terra’s terrifying smile.
The nightmares I couldn’t escape.
The feeling that followed me everywhere—knowing I’d done something unforgivable.
The night we ran. Clover’s hand in mine as we fled through the trees.
The promise I made her—that I’d never let anyone hurt her again.
But I was already the one who’d hurt her the most, and I didn’t even know it.
I’m on my knees.When did I fall?The ground is cold beneath me, but I can’t stand. I can’t even think.
I killed them.
I killed Clover’s parents.
Everything I’ve built—Styx and Stone, my reputation, my entire identity—was founded on protecting people. Saving them.
I told myself it was my purpose. I told myself it was because I cared.
But it was never a purpose.
