“Did ah do something wrong?” Baile asked. He looked hurt.
“Nay, ye didn’t. Ah just…” She trailed off, unsure what to say.
“Finish talking lass. Ah want to know what is going on with ye. Tell me what ye’re feeling right now.”
His words were so sincere that she poured her heart out to him. “Ah didn’t know ah could feel that good when someone kissed me. Ah don’t think my heart could take another beating. Ah know yer a good man, but what if ye make me fall for ye and then ah lose my place or ye tire of me? Ah don’t know what ah would do then. And ah still don’t know what to expect. Ah’ve never been loved properly.” She cried before she knew what was happening and Baile held her in his arms, she vented her fears and frustrations.
“Lass, ye’ve been through a lot in yer life and ah don’t want to add to the grief. Ah haven’t felt this way about a woman since my wife died. But ah don’t want to rush this. Ah know ye need to heal. Ye need to trust again and ah don’t think that will happen quickly.”
“How could ye even desire me?” She cried out. She stepped back. “Ah’m pregnant with a bastard child and widowed.”
Baile took a step closer, but didn’t touch her. “Ye have to see that in yerself. Ah can’t convince ye that ye’re worth something. But ah can tell ye what ye offer isn’t wealth. It has nothing to do with yer child either. Ah’ve never seen someone so capable of loving another person the way ye do. And ye’re a joy to be around. Ye play and laugh. Ye’re childish in the way yer imagination works which is how ah see myself. Ah enjoy every minutes ah’ve spend with ye and ah want to spend even more with ye.”
She felt her heart break anew at his words. Oh, how she wanted them to be true. If she could only believe what he was saying, she could be happy. But she was hurt too often, and she saw the darker side of life. She cried again and this time Baile took her in his arms. She mourned the loss of her marriage, not the man that hurt her, but the idea of marriage. She mourned the baby who died, the life she missed. She cried until she was all out of tears and her body spent. Baile led her back to the cottage. The room was pitch black, so he led her by the hand.
Once she laid down, she felt Baile removing her shoes. Before she could object, Baile was rubbing her feet again. The sweet man was still trying to make her comfortable and help her sleep. She felt the tension ease in her body. Feeling more brave, she reached down with one hand and grabbed Baile’s arm. She pulled him up to her and found his lips with hers. The thrill of having his body against her was invigorating. Mazey put one hand in his hair and the other around his waist. He propped himself up with one arm and the other rubbed up and down the side of her body. He kissed her slow, his body firmly pressed against hers.
His hands strayed down her side, to her thighs and just between them. She sucked in a breath of anticipation as he caressed her. She wanted more. She knew how to arouse him. She propped one knee up and pulled on his hips lightly. He pressed into her, just as she knew he would. She heard him take in a sharp breath.
His rough voice whispered in her ear. “Lass, ye need some time to heal. Let me hold ye.”
She couldn’t deny the disappointment that flooded through her, but now was not the time or the place to get carried away in their desires. Baile wrapped his strong arms around her and pulled her body in to his. The warmth and safety she felt in his arms lulled her into a sound sleep quickly.
Just before unconsciousness claimed her, she heard him whisper close to her ear, “Ah’ll always take care of ye.”
The next daywas much the same as the day before. Siusan wanted to do all the same things again as if for the first time. Mazey took great delight in watching her rediscover the fish, shells and tide pools. The guardsman must have returned late that night, because they slept in late that morning. Gilla tended to the fire and cleaned up the mess from the night before. Baile was happy and carefree while at the beach. His countenance lighter than in all the time she knew him. They spent the day walking around and exploring the beautiful Scottish ocean side.
“Maze, look!” Siusan said for the hundredth time. She held up a small shell that spiraled in on itself. Inside was a luminant purple that reflected light.
“It’s lovely.”
Baile stopped after a few minutes and picked up a shell he spotted. He smiled as he pulled something out of the shell and stuck it in his pocket.
“What did ye find?” Mazey asked curiously.
He grinned mischievously. “A pretty shell.”
She didn’t believe him as he threw the ‘pretty shell’ over his shoulder and back into the sand, but she didn’t press him further.
“It’s time to be heading back, Siusan. The guardsmen will bring the catch in late again, but we have some fruit and bread to eat.”
Siusan ran back towards the cottage, while Baile and Mazey did their best to keep up with her energy. When they finally reached their destination, the sun was setting again and their time at the beach was almost over.
“We are leaving in the morning,” Baile told Siusan.
She frowned at him and pursed her lips into a big pout. “Ah don’t want to go home. Ah want to stay here.”
Baile laughed genuinely. “As do ah little’un, but we have to take care of our clan. And ah can’t do that from the beach. Would ye like to come back here in the springtime?”
Siusan nodded enthusiastically while she took bread and fruit Mazey offered her and gulped it down. It was too early for her to go to bed, but Mazey had nothing else to entertain the girl.
“My Laird, would ye mind if ah took Siusan out with me to the beach? Ah would love to get some shells to take back to my children. And then ah’ll feed her again and get her tucked in bed. Mazey and ye haven’t eaten yet, but ah packed up a basket here with food. Ye could both go check on the lines and eat the supper overlooking the cliffs.”
Baile smiled appreciatively at Gilla and nodded. “Thank ye Gilla. Very thoughtful.”
Gilla handed a basket of food to Baile and took Siusan by the hand. “Would ye help me find some pretty shells?” Siusan squealed and pulled Gilla in tow with her towards the water.
They walked toward the cliffs with the basket Gilla packed. “Ah haven’t seen yer guardsmen much since we arrived. Ah wonder what they’re up to?”
