“Ah’ll find the prettiest shell on this side of Scotland,” she bragged.
“Oh ye will, will ye? Not if ah find it first.” Baile put his hand out to Mazey, before they all walked away and down the beach. She let go of his hand promptly, walking silently by, looking at the ground. She thought about their kiss yesterday. It was sweet and simple. What she wouldn’t give for another kiss like that. Or perhaps more. The logical part of her brain was more reserved. This man was the chief of a large clan. He couldn’t afford to tie himself to a widow with a bastard child. Her divorce from Hume meant the child she carried was labeled a bastard. The wee child would not receive any honor from Hume’s family, nor would they carry his shame. Baile maintained an appearance. His kiss was only a way to comfort Mazey. Or perhaps fulfill his physical needs. She wasn’t beautiful despite what he said.
A stray thought plagued her. He’ll not support you once the baby is born. What use are you then? Ye’ll have to nurse and care for that child.
“Where are ye right now?” Baile asked, jolting her back to reality.
“What do ye mean?”
“When ye are lost in a memory, ye get this far off look. Your brow furrows.” He traced his finger along a line between her eyebrows. “When it’s a scary memory ye turn all white, but this time ye were pink. Where were ye?”
She didn’t want to tell him everything she was thinking, so she just told him the part that wasn’t really about him. “Ah just was thinking about what ah would do after the bairn was born. Ah need to be sure ah can provide for her.”
Baile stopped their walk together while Siusan ran ahead, looking everywhere for seashells. He took her hand in his again and looked her in the eyes. The sunlight glinted off the silver hair near his temples. “Stay in the keep. Raise them together. Ah need yer help still. Ah’ve told ye time and again ye’ll always have a place.”
“But what if ye wed and yer wife wants to care for Siusan? What then? Ah need a plan.”
Baile squinted at her. He looked like he was trying to figure something out. Then looked sad. She couldn’t tell why.
When the sunwas high in the sky and the heat too warm for comfort, they took time to sleep in the shade. By evening Siusan could barely keep her eyes open.
“Ah think we should have supper,” Mazey looked pointedly at Siusan.
“Ah just need to round up the fish in the traps. Perhaps ye should just feed Siusan some bread and let her sleep. Barely able to keep her eyes open.”
Mazey scooped Siusan up in her arms and headed back toward the cottage. “Ah’ll see ye out at the fire soon. Ah’ll help ye and Gilla cook.”
Siusan rested her head on Mazey’s shoulder and curled her arms around her neck. Five minutes later she was sound asleep, the entire weight of her on Mazey’s arms. She put Siusan to bed instead of trying to feed her. If she were hungry, she would wake. For now, she needed sleep. She laid the girl down on the bed and put the blanket lightly over her. She looked back one more time. The sweet girl had become such an integral part of Mazey’s life she couldn’t imagine a world without her in it. She hoped Baile was right. She wanted to believe she always had a place in the keep. Siusan would be a wonderful helper to her little one. For a while, Mazey hoped to have more than one child, but this seemed her only chance.
Gilla was busy making a fire and setting out herbs to cook. “Ah didn’t know ye could cook.”
“Someone has to cook for my children.”
“Why don’t ye work in the kitchens with Garia?” It seemed like a job there was better than tending to the fires.
“When ah tend the fires, ah can get home earlier to my children. The kitchen would take much longer. Are ye enjoying yerself?” Gilla seemed genuinely interested in Mazey.
“Aye, this is the most beautiful place ah have ever been. And it is nice to be here with Siusan. She’s having fun.” Mazey grabbed some herbs and crushed them in a bowl for the supper.
Gilla grinned impishly. “The Laird is having fun it seems.”
Mazey flinched at the accusation. “Ah dunno what ye mean.”
The maid put down the bowl she held and placed her hand on Mazey’s shoulder. “Don’t fret. Ah see the way he looks at ye. It’s real. My husband used to look at me the same way. And ah’ll not speak a word. Be careful with his heart though. He’s a good man. There are few men like him.”
Mazey couldn’t respond. She put the herbs down, walked towards the ocean and sat on a jagged rock sticking out of the shoreline. The beauty of the ocean was indescribable. The horizon touched down and melted into the water. The sea was full of dark deep blues in contrast with foamy whites and brilliant green. Birds flew overhead, squawking and making a general ruckus. They dove below the waves to snatch unsuspecting prey. She wondered if this was what the afterlife was like. Would she get to stay near an ocean after death? It seemed the most peaceful place in the world.
Gilla interrupted her thoughts. “Mazey, looks like ye’re lost in thought.”
Her voice came out quietly as it always did. “Ah worry he’s choosing wrong.”
“Ah couldn’t quite hear ye, lass. Ye’ll have to speak up.” Gilla spoke loudly.
“Aye, ah speak quiet a lot. Ah guess ah’m just used to it.” She repeated her sentiment.
“Ye have to let him make his choices. Ye have to make yers as well.”
With trepidation, Mazey realized Gilla knew she and Baile shared a cabin last night. She wished to defend his reputation in case Gilla wasn’t as discreet as Baile thought she was. “Siusan has the bed ye know. Baile and ah slept on separate mats on the floor.”
