‘I feel like there’s an axe in the back of my skull. I must look an awful mess.’
‘My poor Englishwoman. The axe doesn’t help but you could never look a mess.’
‘That’s not what you thought when we first met.’
She didn’t have the energy to laugh but he smiled. ‘Now listen. Just before the rains come I’m taking you to Udaipore to see the monsoon arrive. Think of the rain falling. Think of being cool. That will help.’
‘Why are they called black widows?’
‘Because they are black and they eat their husbands.’
Now she smiled at him despite the pain.
Two days later and back at Jay’s palace, they stood facing each other in her bedroom, not speaking for a moment or two. Then she slowly undid the buttons of his shirt, and he closed his eyes. Who was in charge? Who was leading? Who was setting the pace? She thought she had wanted it to be him, but somehow things were becoming more equal and she liked that too, loving the feeling of power in her fingertips.
‘Are you sure you’re well enough?’ he said.
She laughed.
‘What’s so funny?’ he said and opened his eyes.
‘I’m well enough.’
Moments passed as they let each other in, or so it seemed to Eliza. This felt like entering a new world, one that was neither his nor hers, but one the two of them had made with no room for anything else. It was a world that once made could never be lost; a world that would exist even after they had gone. It made her want to reach deep inside him until she found what it was that made him, him.
Later, when they had made love, arms and legs tangled, he ran his fingers down her spine.
‘Look at me,’ he said. ‘Open your eyes.’
She opened her eyes, then smiled and held his hand.
‘Why are you smiling?’ he asked.
‘I don’t know. Happy, I guess.’
He grinned. ‘I love seeing you smile and hearing you laugh.’
‘Youmake me laugh,’ she said.
‘Not sure if that’s a good thing.’
‘It’s good. It’s so good.’
He kissed her and she gazed right into his eyes and then she ran her fingers through his hair. He shivered and held her close. Sometimes she worried where they would go from here, but then, face to face with him, she didn’t care. She slowly twisted round in his arms, her mouth against his cheek.
‘Thank you,’ she whispered.
‘For?’
‘For being you. For being here. For …’ She paused.
‘For?’
‘For something I never expected to feel.’ She stretched lazily. ‘I wish this could last for ever. That we could stay just like this.’
He didn’t reply, but stroked the inside of her thigh.
‘Though I suppose we’d get hungry,’ she added.
