‘So soon? Why not come up to the roof to look at the view?’
‘So you can push me off?’ Eliza said with a smile.
Indi looked blank and then she laughed as she stood. ‘You never know. Come on. Up there, well, it’s my way of seeing beyond my problems. And now, before the sun is at its height, is best.’
Indi took Eliza’s hand and led her to what she said was a short cut. They climbed a few steps and went through a door at the top, and then it was as if they were really on top of the world. Indi spread her arms out wide and spun around on the spot, laughing and whooping as she did. ‘Come on, Eliza, you too,’ she called out without stopping. Eliza hesitated but then couldn’t resist and the two women spun. It was exhilarating and, as every thought in her mind dissolved, Eliza felt free. She went faster and faster as this incredible countryside sped around her, and she knew that here, high above the city, anything could be forgiven, and that this girl who had so little was her own flesh and blood.
She heard the chime of bells and faltered, and was the first to stumble and land in a heap on the ground. How like life, she thought: it raises you up and then tosses you aside. She watched Indira still spinning and whooping and spotted an eagle flying right above, in the bright expanse of the pale blue sky. Though hot and sticky, the breeze was drying her skin and in that moment, and despite all that had gone on, she felt that she would be happy again one day.
When Indi came to a standstill, without falling, Eliza got to her feet and went across to her. Then she held out her arms and hugged her sister. When they parted Eliza looked into Indira’s sparkling green eyes.
‘You are not alone,’ she said. ‘You’ll have me,bahan, always and you’ll never be alone again. I promise you that.’
38
Jaipore
The wide avenues leading through the arched gateways of the city of Jaipore were packed with soldiers and strings of camels decked out in silks, pompoms, and ribbons. Eliza passed through one arch and then another, the second a deep rosy pink and painted with intricate white flowers. She had remembered the pink city from her childhood and had prepared herself to be disappointed, but Jaipore was everything she had expected and more, thehavelis, palaces and balconies all glowing with multiple shades of pink.
She had arrived at the height of the Hindu festival of Teej, and was lucky to find a vacant room beyond the typical cusped archways of a prettyhavelihotel right in the heart of the town. It was a little ironic that she was there during Teej, part of a series of three festivals during the months of the monsoon, and the time when women prayed to the goddess Parvati and to Shiva to seek blessings for marital bliss. Essentially a festival for women, Teej was all about a wife’s love and devotion towards her husband: something Eliza was unlikely ever to achieve. Thelovewas fine but she was a little uncertain about the principle ofdevotion.
She had seen the small red insects emerging from the earth during the rains, but hadn’t realized that the festivals took the name Teej from those insects. But thehavelimanager, a small man with piercing dark eyes and an excited air, had explained everything. She had learnt that while in northern India Teej celebrated the arrival of monsoon, in Rajputana it was also celebrated as a relief from the blistering heat of summer, and that this year the rain had come so late that the festival was running later than usual. The man was full of information, wouldn’t stop talking in fact, until Eliza’s head was spinning, but he went on to say that while fasting was essential during Teej, the festival was joyfully alive with the sights and sounds of women singing and dancing. Eliza decided to go out and see for herself, taking her new Leica with her.
As soon as she left thehavelishe was faced with a town heaving with exuberant people. She gazed at swings that had been hung from the branches of tall trees and garlanded with marigolds. She still found it strange that these were swings for grown women, and not for children, but one look at the faces of women of all ages confirmed their delight. She noticed that their hands were decorated with intricate henna tattoos and their bodies were dripping with jewels. Either they are hoping for a mate, she thought, or they are praying for the health of the mate they already have. No woman wants to be dressed in relentless white for the rest of their lives.
Eliza found that a fairground had been erected a short distance from thehaveli, so she opened up her new Leica, ready to capture the sight of a big wheel and rows of stalls selling dolls and fabric ornaments. Everyone in the whole town seemed to be there, the adults calling out to each other and laughing, while the children tore through the crowds creating mayhem wherever they went. Eliza asked people if they minded being photographed and most nodded and smiled, happy to be caught in their very best clothes. The funny thing was that every time Eliza took the photograph they seemed to suddenly turn serious. She photographed decorated and painted elephants lining the wide straight avenues, theirhowdahsdripping with silk, and further on she spotted tiny figures of Shiva and Parvati laid out on velvet cloths on the pavements and people crowding to buy them. How wonderful it must be, she thought, in one lonely moment, to be part of a community sharing your religious beliefs. Eliza had given up on God the day the bomb went flying through the air, taking her father for ever.
As the light grew lemony, dusk began to fall and the town, lit by hundreds and hundreds of tiny clay pots holding only oil and a wick, seemed to step straight from the pages of a fairy tale. The city palace glowed a deep rosy pink, and the hilltop forts loomed above the dark purple of the Aravalli hills. Eliza saw the beauty of it all, but for her it was beauty tinged with a deep melancholy: a recognition that she would never really be part of this. She couldn’t help thinking of Jay and remembering all that had passed between them. She would always treasure the days she had spent with him but it was time to move on. And though a part of her felt like running away, she stayed to watch the dancing, and the sight of so many beautiful women moving as if their very lives depended on it lifted her spirits.
She was surprised when all of a sudden one of the women near to her grabbed her by the hand and led her into the heart of the throng. At first, embarrassed and clumsy, Eliza shrank from the exposure. She wasn’t dressed for this kind of wild abandon, but after only a few minutes she allowed herself to let go.
That night she slept like a baby, and the next day decided to wear her nicest Indian clothes. She drew the line of darkkaajalaround her eyes, just as the concubines had instructed her, and once again was amazed by the way the green of her eyes came to life. She applied a little rouge to her cheeks and lips and tied her hair with bright ribbons at the nape of her neck.
She would go down for coffee on the veranda and sit overlooking a lush garden and try to be happy. Then go for a stroll around the town. Today she would fit in, she promised herself.
She pushed open the heavy carved doors to the veranda but found the place deserted. Either she was too late or too early, and she wondered whether to look for somebody. But a butler came out to place a deep red rose in a vase on her table and then left. She was lost in her thoughts when she heard a man’s voice. She remained completely still for a few moments. Surely it couldn’t be him? She twisted to her side and saw that he was standing there, smiling, his amber eyes full of warmth.
‘Jay?’
He put a finger to his lips and came closer, then knelt before her and took a small box from a pocket in his tunic. He opened it and held it out for her to see.
She stared at the most beautiful sapphire ring she had ever seen, then glanced at his solemn face.
‘It turns out,’ he said, ‘that I cannot live without you.’
Eliza could not prevent her tears forming and, unable to fully comprehend that this was really happening, could only nod wordlessly.
‘I’m so sorry to have put you through all this. I thought I was doing what was right. I want to say sorry and ask if you can forgive me.’
Eliza still could not speak for a moment. Then she smiled. ‘Let us agree to forgive each other.’
‘Come,’ he said, as he got to his feet, then held out both his arms to her. ‘You and I will build our faith in each other, through the dark times and the light.’
And then she went to him. While they held each other she could feel his heart against her own and knew this was good, even though the surprise of it still coursed through her. Afterwards they sat in silence for a while, the moment too precious to spoil with questions. The sun filtered through the trees and Eliza watched the birds flying about the garden and a couple of chattering monkeys swinging in the branches, and wanted to preserve the memory. For all of her life she wanted to be able to recall this one moment. Because it was perfect, and perfect moments didn’t come around very often. There were questions floating in and out of her mind and soon she would ask them, but for now she held Jay’s hand and experienced a sublime kind of peace, like knowing nothing could go wrong ever again. Minutes passed during which neither spoke.
He was the first to interrupt the silence. ‘Have you already had coffee?’
‘That’s very down to earth, but do you know, I can’t even remember. I seem to have lost the ability to think. In any case, I’m not thirsty now.’
