He nodded and looked at her so sadly that she almost reached out to comfort him, almost but not quite. Why was he saying this? Was it to undermine her? How was she supposed to respond?My father killed your father.My father. Your father. The words echoed in her head.
Eventually she found her voice. ‘How long have you known?’
‘That he threw the bomb? A few years, though I was told never to speak of it.’
‘I meant how long have you known who I was.’
‘Since Jay told me what had happened to your father.’ He shook his head. ‘As a child I needed to blame somebody for my father’s absence, so I blamed the man he killed. I told myself he shouldn’t have been in the way. Convinced myself it hadn’t been my father’s fault. Crazy I know, but back then it was the only way I could handle it.’
‘And then when I came here?’
‘It was as if the logic I had built up instantly crumbled. My father was a murderer and yours was dead.’
They remained silent for some minutes while Eliza allowed it all to sink in. After all this time …
‘You never heard from him again?’ she finally said.
‘Nothing.’
‘How did you know it was he who had done it? Was there proof? Maybe it was just rumour or conjecture.’
‘One of the other conspirators informed my mother so that she would understand why he had had to flee. She explained most of it to me but told me he had gone because the British wanted to hang him. Only later did she really explain why.’
He sat looking so troubled that she had no option but to try and say something comforting, even though it seemed the wrong way round.
‘Look Dev, you are not your father.’
‘I don’t know. I found out the whole truth when I was about thirteen or fourteen and sometimes I feel as if I must continue what he started. Then, when Chatur wanted my help, I knew it was wrong but I also felt sure it wouldn’t stick and nothing would happen to Jay.’
‘But he was arrested.’
‘That was when I realized what an idiot I’d been and told Chatur I would reveal his involvement if he didn’t persuade Clifford to release Jay.’
‘And your own involvement would come to light too?’
‘Yes. But there’s more. Chatur knew, Eliza. Both he and Clifford knew about my father and Chatur threatened to tell you if I didn’t help him. I felt ashamed. I didn’t want any more people knowing, but I was also frightened for my father. That was why I really helped Chatur.’
‘And he went to Clifford? Admitted that you were behind the pamphlets and not Jay? That it had been a mistake?’
‘Yes, and he also explained that I’d never intended to distribute them and made out that it had just been a stupid prank on my part.’
‘Clifford didn’t arrest you.’
‘No. Jay arranged for me to come here.’
‘Why are you telling me now?’
‘Because you will be gone and the chance might never arise again. I really thought you should know, and I suppose I needed to get it off my chest.’
‘You know I saw what happened?’
He nodded. ‘I’m so sorry.’
In some odd way she knew she must reach out and squeeze his hand and, when she did, she was rewarded with a smile of complete sincerity. But she couldn’t help thinking Clifford should have been the one to tell her. She would certainly call on him when she returned to Juraipore. Clifford had concealed the truth about who had been behind the bombing in Delhi all those years before and she wasn’t going to let him get off scot-free.
35
The driver and car Jay had arranged back in Udaipore to take her to his palace were still at her disposal and, as she sat on the terrace, after Dev had gone, she decided to stay one more day. Dev’s confession had cleared her mind and, as she stared at the sun-drenched landscape that lay quivering in the heat, she felt terribly sorry for what he had suffered as a child. But she was glad he had told her, and couldn’t help feel as if the loose ends surrounding her father’s death had at last been tied up. The morning had taken on a strange, unreal quality and, despite the rains, the atmosphere remained oppressive.
