Riley does the only thing he knows to do. His arms hold her tight. One hand gently rubs circles on her back while she lets everything out.
“I’m sorry,” she sniffles into his chest, trying to snuggle closer.
“What could you possibly be apologizing for?” he asks, tightening his grip, struggling to understand.
“For crying over them… again. All I have done lately is become an emotional mess,” she confesses.
“Don’t ever apologize for having emotions. Especially now. If I knew this is where you were taking us, I never would have agreed. I would rather we all sleep in the car then see you hurt like this,” he says, placing gentle kisses on the top of her head. Holding her in the silence, he watches the sun start to lower in front of them.
“Please talk to me,” he says, those magic words always being her undoing. He can’t stand knowing the only woman he has ever loved is hurting so much.
“He bought it for us,” Liz starts, adjusting in Riley’s arms so her back is against his chest, and her head can rest comfortably on his shoulder. “We always wanted a place away from everything. He found this cute house that was falling apart and surprised me with it. We worked nearly every day to build it into our forever home. It was so close, too. I started decorating and had new furniture delivered. There were a few more things we wanted to do before officially moving in. Then, they were gone.”
His grip tightens, wrapping his hand around her wrist while her other hand idly traces one of his scars. Speechless. What is hesupposed to say to her confession? What could he possibly say to make any of the situation better? Nothing. He knows there is nothing that can be done, and trying to make it better almost feels as if he would be minimizing her feelings and the weight of what she has endured.
“I thought I would be okay. It’s been years since they died. I should have told you this is where we were going,” she says, fighting back a fresh wave of tears.
“Love… please tell me this is not the first time you have come here since you lost them,” he says, dreading the answer he knows she is about to give.
“We had nowhere else to go, Ry. Tyler may have gotten everything he was looking for, but you still need time to figure out what’s next. You can’t do that bouncing from one house to another, always looking over your shoulder, making sure Scott hasn’t found us. I knew coming here would be safe and give you the time you need. And yeah, I never thought I would end up back here, and it fucking sucks, but I am a big girl and I will be fine as long as everyone is safe,” she says with a sigh, finding a new scar to trace every now and again.
“I wish you told me. I never would have agreed to come here, not if I knew you had never gotten the chance to grieve this place, and the life your family should have had here,” he says, eyes locked on the sun just starting to dip behind the mountains.
“You guysaremy family,” she says, following his eyes to the setting sun, trying to find the beauty in such a dark place.
“So, this is what you wanted huh? A calm, peaceful life, far away from the chaos outside? I really fucked up dragging you into my world,” he says, settling further against a hard bale of hay, adjusting both of them so they can watch the sunset together.
“It is. Things were so hard for so long. I just wanted something simple with the most important people in my life. Somewhere safe,with everything we needed. It could still be that. Different, but someday, maybe we could make it something to be proud of again,” she says, nuzzling into him.
“You would want to come back here? For good?” Riley asks, trying to hide the worry in his tone.
“For me? No, I will never live here again. There are too many memories. Too many ghosts haunting me here. But we both care about our team too much, and you know better than anyone that your own people can’t be trusted. Maybe we can make it into an actual safehouse, kind of like the bunker. Someday, far in the future, when I can stomach being here.” Liz raises his hand to her mouth, placing a tiny kiss on each scar.
“As soon as this is over, I’m taking you away from all of this, baby,” Riley whispers in her ear. “I should have done it sooner. Fuck, I never should have asked you to sign those papers. I was so fucking selfish trying to buy myself more time with you. If I could go back and do it all again, I would have told you how I felt on that mountain top, and we could have a normal life right now. You wouldn’t be on the run, you wouldn’t be back here, forced to face your past before you’re ready. You could be relatively happy,” he confesses.
“Stop blaming yourself, Riley. I knew what I was getting myself into. Sure, I didn’t know how bad it would be, but I knew I would not be going back to a normal life and that’s okay. We have already talked about this. Do I still want that someday? Of course I do, now that I have you. But for now, and years to come this is our life, and that is okay. As long as I’m by your side Iamhappy, even if it doesn’t seem that way right now,” Liz says, wiggling her way out of his arms so she can turn to face him. “I told you, I may not like it, but I would never ask you to give up something you have worked your whole life building just so I can play wife again.”
“Have you stopped to consider that I want that life, too? Theone where we spend our days doing chores, playing with our dogs, cooking, then curling up on the couch to watch one of those trash TV shows you love so much. I want that just as much as you do. This is all new to me. I was so young when I was taken the first time. I never got the chance to experience falling in love and having a life outside of the military. I enlisted on my eighteenth birthday and worked my ass off to climb through the ranks. Figured I would get to a position where I could provide for a family,thenthink about settling down,” he says with a sad sigh. “Obviously, shit happened, and that plan went out the fuckin’ window. I stopped thinking I could ever have that. I knew no one could love me after I became Reaper. Then you went and stabbed me and changed everything,” he says, watching her tears well up, rimming her emerald-green eyes, shimmering in the light of the setting sun.
He holds his arms open, silently pleading with Liz to snuggle back into him. He lets out a breath of relief when she does, holding her tight while the world fades into darkness around them.
CHAPTER 39
Liz is swept into a too tight hug, lifting her clean off the ground the moment she steps foot back into the house. She wraps her arms around Mikey’s neck, hugging him back just as fiercely. She watches Riley try to pay them no mind, instead walking right to where the rest of the team is huddled around the fireplace. But she doesn't miss the way he glances back at her. The fireplace that now has every old photo of her past life turned around. Her grip tightens around Mikey’s neck, grateful to have him in her life.
“Thank you,” she whispers in his ear before letting him go.
“Next time, tell us what’s going on, darlin. You had me worried when you started shutting down. Even Tyler was asking if you were okay when he went to tinker with the generator,” he says, swinging his arm around her shoulders and guiding her to the group.
To her surprise, Matt moves from the couch onto the floor, making enough space for her to settle in between Mikey and Riley. Mikey grabs two MREs off the table, handing her one before he prepares his own. Liz sits back, silently listening to the chatter. Herheart swells at the sight. It may not be what it should have been, but to see family gathered in the space she thought would be lost forever gives her a tiny spark of hope.
“We are safe, for now. It will be harder to be found, but not impossible, so only use the devices Tyler has provided for you. We will be living off MREs and whatever food was packed when we left the last house. We now have everything needed to clear our names and keep the rest of yours from joining the treason list. Tyler has sent what he has to every single person who may be able to help us. We are no longer on the run, now we are on the hunt,” Riley says with so much confidence it sends a chill down Liz’s spine. She watches in admiration as he rallies the team, preparing them for the biggest fight of their life.
“We know Scott’s motivations. We know what he is doing, and who he is doing it with. And, we know what will happen if we fail, so failure is not an option. If you have anything to say, any intel you have been keeping, any ideas or plans, now is the time to speak up,” he says, eyes locked on Matt, nervously looking around the group following their leader’s eyes to him.
“Why can’t we just wait it out here?” Maya timidly asks. Her mousy voice is a shock to Liz, never having spoken to her before. She assumed anyone Lauren brought along would be just as powerful and confident as she is.
“Because that’s not our job. Our job is to stop the bad guys, no matter where they are from. We cannot rely on others to solve our problems. There will never be a guarantee that our intel isn’t intercepted, or that it will even matter if itdoesreach the right hands,” Lauren carefully explains.
