Dragging her feet over to the bed, she sits on the edge, picking up their picture as she does. She lets the tears fall, dripping onto the glass in the silence. Trying to steady her breathing, she takes two sharp breaths in, anything to trick her body into calming down.
“It’s all my fault,” she whispers, looking down at the picture. Even through his mask, she can see his smile. “I’m the reason you got taken, and now I don’t know how to get you back.”
She stays like that for a long while, letting the grief and anguish wash over her until it’s almost too much to take. She knows it is her fault, and she lashes out at the only people fighting for the same cause.
Wiping her eyes, she gets up and goes into the living room where she finds Mikey, sitting on the couch, eyes red and puffy from his own tears . Without a word she goes to him, pulls him into her own arms, and holds him the same way he had her. His head drops to rest on her shoulder. Her arms stretch so far around him they don’t even touch.
“Fuck, we must look ridiculous right now,” he laughs. “I’m too big to be held like this.” He tries to wiggle out of her arms, but she just holds tighter.
“Big strong men need to be held sometimes, too,” she coos, rubbing his arm. “I’m sorry I snapped earlier. That was the last thing you needed after everything you just went through. None of this is your fault.”
“I’m fine. It sucks, but it’s a risk of the jobthat I’m used to. You’re hurting right now. We may have known him longer, but you have a connection with Ry none of us could ever have. You’re not just worried about your friend, you’re terrified for the man you love. Anyone with half a brain could hear the pain in your screams,” he says, successfully escaping her arms and pulling her into his instead.
“I’ll be right back,” she mumbles against him, sliding from his arms. She walks away, disappearing out the door. Knocking on the door across the hall, she secretly hopes they don’t answer, unsure of how to apologize to them for everything. They heard cries and came running, and in return, she blamed them. She feels like such a bitch, cursing herself under her breath, and she gently knocks again. The speed in which Alex whips the door open is astounding. Liz stumbles back, peering up at him with wide eyes.
“I need to apologize… to both of you,” Liz says just loud enough for him to hear. Tyler perks up, walking to the doorway to stand next to his partner. “What I said was wrong and uncalled for. I was projecting my own insecurities onto you. None of what happened is anyone’s fault but my own. I never should have taken my anger out on you, and I am truly sorry.”
“Thank you, honey. That couldn’t have been easy. I don’t think either of us blame you. If Tyler had got taken, I would do the same,” Alex says.
“Oh, good. Mikey got my message,” she says, hearing the nickname. “I’m sure you guys have a lot going on, so I’ll leave you to it, but I am sorry for the way I treated you.”
She doesn’t wait to see if they say anything more before turning and going back to her own room where she finds Mikey digging through the cabinets.
“Looks good in here,” he says, going back and throwing himself down on the couch. “How did you manage to get it delivered so fast?”
“I took notes!” she proudly states, opening the book to begin telling him everything. “The guy really loves bragging about himself and how great he is. Apparently, Scott wants him to take over the unit. I told you he isn’t trying to help Riley. Also, I don’t think he realizes he did it, but when we talked about the mission, he said Scott knew the town was empty.”
“What?” Mikey interrupts, eyes simmering with anger.
“Yeah, I got him talking about himself and…” she trails off, flipping through the pages, before jumping up and running out the door. She throws herself against the door opposite her own, pounding both her palms on it until Tyler yanks it open, looking angry.
“I need you guys… now,” she shrieks, darting back into her own room once more.
Mikey looks at her, brows pinched in confusion, watching her rub her hands together, pacing back and forth. When the rest of the team walks in seconds later, she flicks the locks and ushers them to the table.
“Now that everyone is here, I can finish. The day Matt took me shopping, he started talking about himself. He wants to be commander, I guess that’s his end game. While he was ranting, he told me general shit for brains knew the town would be empty. Said he thought it was weird, but questioning his commanding officer wouldn’t help him rise in rank, so he ignored it. And he let it slip that Scott wanted someone who could handle you guys. Why would he need someone who can handle you if Riley is coming home and leading you again?” A heavy silence fills the room as they all start to put the pieces together.
“Did he say anything else?” Alex asks, jaw clenched so tight it looks like he could crack a tooth.
“Not really, the rest of the time he was just bragging about how amazing he is and how it’s almost guaranteed he is going tolead the unit. It’s weird though, he didn’t out right say it, but he kept telling me I need to get over Riley. The way he says it sometimes is really creepy, like he knows Ry will never make it home. He saidif he doesn’t come backand said he is curious to see Riley’s cave.” Her pacing slows, and she joins them at the table, flipping through her notebook, anxious to tell them about her dream.
“One more thing. Does chirinda mean anything to you guys?” she asks innocently. Her heart drops when she sees the same pained look on each of their faces.
“Where did you hear that?” Alex asks sternly.
“So it does mean something?” Liz fires back.
“That depends,” Tyler replies.
“Well, now that I know it means something, I can tell you, but please don’t make fun of me… I had a dream a few days ago, a nightmare. I was back with Dmitri. It was the day he had the tracker put in my leg, but everything was wrong,” she starts to explain.
“What do you mean wrong?” Mikey asks, concerned.
“I knew it was a dream. It was almost like lucid dreaming, but I couldn’t change anything. I was scared, covered in blood, and everything felt so fucking real, but I knew it wasn’t. When I checked on my leg, there was a bump, not a cut. Here’s the weird part, I remember that day. I was drugged, stabbed by a giant needle, then out of it for a while before Riley came in, but it was all wrong. I heard Dmitri walking to my cell, then guns. He started yelling in the hall about someone being there, and making sure chirinda was ready, but the gun shots didn’t happen until I woke up, and I never heard him come anywhere near me that day. Then Riley came in. I tried so hard to get to him. I was screaming his name, but he walked in and crouched next to my bed, like he didn’t even see me fighting to get to him.” She scansthe table, looking at each man wearing the same pale expression, as if what she said holds some deep-rooted trauma.
“Chirinda is where they were holding Riley when he was first taken. It’s where it all started. That was our first thought, but the general said he’s been keeping an eye on it,” Alex says, too quiet for her liking.
“It sounds like your subconscious was showing you what happened when your mind wasn’t fully there. You likely did hear all that, but you were too far gone to really understand what was happening,” Tyler says.
