My fists clench tightly on the table. “She wasdrowning, Asher.”
His hand lands on my shoulder, holding me steadily.
“Listen to me Ty,” Asher says strongly, but quietly as to not wake up Roxie. “You can’t take that on. You didn’t know. I didn’t know. That was her choice, and she did what she thought she had to, to save you.”
“She shouldn’t have fucking had to!” I snap quietly, but viciously. Roxie’s breathing hitches, I can hear it from here and I stop. Both Asher and I stop, waiting for her to fall fitfully back to sleep before resuming.
“You were fifteen,” he whispers harshly, trying to give me some kind of an excuse to hold onto while I spiral.
My eyes lock onto his and I’m not flinching. “So were you.”
His jaw clenches and he breathes through his anger. And I get why he’s mad. I brought up shit I shouldn’t have. Asher had to make a choice at fifteen, one that will forever haunt him, no matter what I say.
“Low fucking blow, Terecino. But I get it.” He crosses his arms over his chest in annoyance, and I let the whole ‘Terecino’ slide. I did start it.
“You get it.”
He sighs deeply, shaking his head. “I do. So what are we going to do? Mickey’s already fucking jonesing to get you in the ring, or kill you if you step out of line again.”
“He’s planning something. He has to be,” I say. “When I grabbed her, he brought some guys out and made an offer to give her to me for the night… For a price.” The words taste like bile on my tongue and I’m thrown into the memory of how he looked; the evil smirk, the calculating look as he turned.
Asher breathes deeply, his arms crossing over his chest tighter.
“If you don’t kill him, I might.”
“If that’s something he said, I can’t imagine what he’sdone.” My heart aches, the anger and need are too much.
“You don’t want to know.” A soft voice comes from the couch but she doesn’t sit up, just lets it be known that she did not fall back asleep like we thought.
“Roxie,” I say breathlessly, pushing up to come sit with her, but she stops me.
“No, stay… Stay there. This will be easier to say if I can’t see you.” At her words I stop, breathing softly but warring with myself to not run to her side. Because she asked me not to.
“Okay, baby,” I say softly, sitting back down noisily on the chair so she knows I did what she asked.
“It was fine for a little while, livable. And then…then Mickey found out I could fight. And he tightened the reins. I told you this earlier, Ty, but I’ll say it again so Asher knows.” I can hear her swallow from here, giving herself a moment to gather her thoughts. “I got there, and… And the parents–no theguardians,because there’s a fucking difference–basically ignored me themoment that Mickey said he would take over. I got a dirty futon, some noodles in a cup and told that I start school the next morning. It was jarring, but not unfamiliar. I endure, don’t I?” she asks us, voice breaking in a way that breaks my fucking heart, and I want to stand up.
So fucking badly.
I want to cross the room and rush to her side, hold her while she tells us the hell she endured.
But she asked me not to.
So instead, I grit my teeth and hold onto the table like I could crush the old wood easily.
“It was fine for a while, awkward, uncomfortable, but… But then I noticed he changed the rules of the game. He started withholding meals if I was rude or standoffish. He started rationing drinking water when I pissed him off. He took away the curtain I had half-assedly put up to give myself some privacy in the corner of the room they gave me. And that’s when I knew I was in for some tough times.” I can hear her swallow, trying to push the memories down and I growl, softly. I try to pull the noise back in, or at least get a fucking handle on it, but it’s already out.
Asher smacks my shoulder and looks at me with a shocked expression. “Shut the fuck up,” he mouths at me.
I nod aggressively and flip him off because I know.I fucking know, but just hearing her in that… Knowing she lived it and she’s not even told us the worst of it yet makes me want to fucking light shit on fire.
“It was… I think maybe a year and a half after I started living with them that he came to me in the night for the first time. He…” My entirebeingstands on edge. I look to Asher and see him stiffen as well. “The first time, I landed a few hits, but I took more than I gave and I learned quickly. It wasn’t…” Her voicebreaks and so does my resolve. I stand up, but I see her hand shoot up from the couch. “Don’t.Please.”
I’m so angry, my words slip into Spanish easily.“She’s going to kill me. I’m going to kill him, I swear to fucking god. Mark my words,”slips under my breath angrily.
“Sit the fuck down, Ty.” Asher pulls at my arm, but I can see the edge in his eyes. This isn’t easy for him either.
“I’m sorry,” Roxie whispers, “Just let me get this out without seeing your faces. I can’t… I know how I feel but I don’t need toseehow your views on me change.”
