“I told you,” Eddie mutters.
I snap his direction. “You said he’d be temporarily suspended. Not that he was going to be reassigned.” I turn back and face my father. “This isn’t going to be permanent, is it? Papa, please, I need him back on my team.”
“Alice, I understand this has all come as a terrible shock to you, but you must understand that while an investigation is ongoing, Arthur cannot work on your security team. The protocols are there for a reason. I love you dearly, but I will not intervene on your behalf.”
“Fine. I understand that, but has he beenpermanentlyremoved from me?”
“That depends on the outcome of the investigation. If he’s done nothing wrong, you have no cause for concern.”
But that’s just it. We have. My heart is sinking. I fall back down into my chair, opening and closing my mouth. No words come out. I’m a ship that’s been lost at sea without a lighthouse to safely guide me in.
How thorough is the investigator going to be? Are there more photos of us out there? We knew there was a chance this was going to happen, and now it has. I have to speak with Art. I have to find out if he’s all right. I’ll find a way to get by, but his entire life is being flipped upside down. Everything he’s worked for.
Eddie and Papa exchange worried glances.
“Why don’t I ring for some tea,” Eddie suggests.
I bob my head up and down. “Yes, tea. Tea is good.” My brother disappears into the front office.
Papa walks around his desk and sits next to me. He places a hand under my chin and lifts it. “Alice, I want you to know, I’ll do everything at my disposal to try and help the situation along. As much as I don’t like it, we’ll try it your way. I’ll refrain from having the press office issue anycomments.”
“Thank you, Papa,” I whisper. I hug him, burying my face in his coat. The familiar sandalwood scent comforts me.
As we break apart, I hear Art’s voice in my head, urging me to use this time to speak to my father about being a working royal. During our last conversation, I told him I’d try and take care of it soon. But I didn’t. I postponed it. Again.
I swallow hard. I’ve run out of excuses. I need to do this now. Otherwise, I have no idea if I ever will. Taking a deep breath, I say, “Papa, while we’re here, there is one other thing I wanted to speak to you about.”
“Of course.” He scoots back half an inch.
“There’s something I should’ve told you and Mum a long time ago.” I look down at the carpet. “Everyone else in this family has always taken to attending engagements and making public speeches like a duck to water. But that’s never been the case for me.”
I explain to my father how much dread and anxiety I have when I’m out in the public eye. I open up about how the last year has been more difficult than anyone has imagined. Even with a brilliant therapist, it’s taken me months to be able to piece myself back together.
“I thought when I began uni, I’d be able to finally have a private life, outside of the spotlight, but as I’ve come to find, these last few weeks actually haven’t beentoobad. I’ve enjoyed some of my work. It’s been enough to make me reconsider where I stand on being a working royal. Plus, there’s also a few causes I’d like to support, like helping those who have been bullied. I guess what I’m trying to say is that at the beginning of the summer, I was prepared to ask you if I could step away from all royal engagements, but now, I’m willing to be out there on a part-time basis.”
When I finish, I lift my head and watch as he blinks slowly several times. I see Eddie standing silently in the background, arms behind his back.
“Alice, why have you never told your mum and me how you feel? If we’d known, we would’ve scaled your schedule back.”
“I... I... I suppose I was ashamed of myself. I’m the daughter of the king, and being able to be a working royal is what’s expected. Eddie has never had any trouble.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Ali.” Eddie scoffs. “Believe me when I say there’s been stretches of time where I’ve struggled. At one point, there was talk of me being stripped of my duties because of how poor my behavior was.”
My eyes widen.
“It’s true,” Papa confirms.
“But with time, practice, and some positive influences, I was able to turn myself around.” Eddie elbows me lightly. “None of what we do is easy or comes naturally. To quote Amanda, we’re brilliant at faking it until we make it.”
“David and Uncle Frank have both expressed the same feelings as you. I’ll tell you exactly what I told them.” Papa crosses one leg over the other and glances at us. “You may not have been able to choose the family that you’re born into, but you will always have a choice in the life you’d like to lead. Mum and I will love and support you no matter what you decide you want to do.”
“If it were me, Ali, I wouldn’t rush to make any decisions,” Eddie suggests. “You have a lot on your plate right now, especially with your school term about to start up. I doubt it would surprise anyone if you focused on your studies. But if you’re halfway enjoying yourself as a working royal, why not ask Mum if you can handpick what’s added to your schedule?”
“Would that be possible?”
“Certainly,” Papa says.
I take tea with Eddie and my father, feeling a little better, but still torn over the situation with Art. One problem has been solved, but another has emerged.
