“Amelia.” Her voice turned stern.
“Oh, we’re throwing birth names. Melody Rae,” I snipped, trying to laugh it off.
“Come on, you know this is not okay.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.” I brushed her hand away, returning to my final checks. Fine was the typical word I used.
She huffed more in frustration than stubbornness. She only knew because she saw me wince in pain one too many times, and started to press for answers. When my mind told me that I could trust her, the truth flowed out of me in the form of words and many tears.
I didn’t need or want sympathy, because most of the time it turned to pity and that’s not what I needed.
I took out my stethoscope, listening to her heartbeat, listening to her breaths. She was truly strong and didn’t need me. Equal sounds, no signs of scattered breathing.
Her head turned to the side as I adjusted her shirt back down. “You know they can help you.”
Theymeaning the Saint’s Outlaws Motorcycle Club: Memphis Chapter. Yeah, a lot of people knew who they were. But only Melody and a handful of people knew deeply who they actually were. People who protected their own, riding the line of legal and illegal activity. There was nothing in the city that they didn’tknow about and no one dared to challenge them. They were the roughest people out there. Sometimes being too involved may get you an early grave, or so I heard.
“I don’t need anyone else involved,” I protested, which wasn't a complete lie. The only way to protect others was to not involve them in the world that revolved around toxicity that I was too blind and too cowardly to leave long ago. And it was too late; I was in too deep. I was close to the end of it.
“Please,” Melody kept begging. It was sweet and enduring to know that she cared, but I wasn’t going to do that, especially after the hell she went through. She brought me in front of her and wrapped her hands with mine. “Hound Dog already said you were like one of us. That means a lot more than you think.”
Again, I shook my head. “Melody, as much as that’s sweet, everything is about to be done and over with. I’m fine.”
I’m fine.
What a blatant lie. A statement that has so many meanings that there’s never an accurate interpretation. Add a fake smile or even incorporate anger, and you still mask the true meaning of being “fine”. Fine was the filler version of “I don’t know what to feel right now”. It was a placement holder for the time I could find how to say that I wasn’t completely okay but I was surviving.
It’s why I had tattoos along my arms, why my hair was short, why I had gotten good at cover up makeup. I stuck with my demons and I tried every day to find that light.
“Mia?” Melody’s small voice broke me out of a trance.
“Sorry, you were saying?” I asked, finishing the food in front of me before I wanted to bury myself in my bed, looking like a baby blanket burrito.
“I was saying that our home is always open for you. If you need anything,” she started to say.
I flashed her a smile. “Your friendship is enough, plus your man has already paid me,” I joked with her, and she gave mea smile in return. “But your friendship is worth more than anything.”
“That and you don’t mind the eye candy that comes around here.” She giggled.
I rolled my eyes. “Like I need to be looking. Not all of us can get split in half and ask for more.”
She blushed. “I just got lucky. But maybe there’s a certain man that has his eyes on you.”
I smirked. “You mean Rambo out there? Yeah, sure. The man looks at me like I’m about to be a little bunny running from the big wolf. Shit, he looks like he’s ready to strangle someone.”
Melody shrugged, “Sounds kinky to me. Then again…”
“Please spare me of what you and Hound Dog do when I’m not around.” I shoved that thought back down. Because to find a man that would worship you and almost break you just to put you back together even stronger was a dream. And most dreams are just fantasy and only come true to those that get all the good things in life.
I was reminded that I wasn’t one of the lucky ones. And I had myself to blame for the spiral of thoughts that swarmed me.
After a few exercises and her boxing up food for me to take home, she gave me a tight hug that only lingered for a bit longer than usual and I left.
And yet there was still one man that wouldn’t leave. He was just a shadow, hidden but you knew he was there.
Chapter 2
Shooter
