“Um. okay,” he starts to think. He scrambles for his words. “What is one of your dreams? Like something you want to do for you?”
Something broad yet deep. My breathing is staggering, a mixture of fear and internal pain. I have a lot of dreams, maybe they’re not all realistic, but dreams nevertheless.
I hiss as I move, I try to focus on something else, “A dream, okay. Um, I always wanted a sunroom. Aunt Lilly has one and as a kid I’d stay out there, sippin’ iced tea, she’d play jazz music. I never understood the fascination, but she’d play it. I’d read anything and everything I could get my hands on. It was an escape.”
The memories comfort me, the soft cheeky smile of Lilly, Joshua in his own world, the warmth of the sun on my face.
“Sounds like heaven,” he comments, the light in his voice.
“Yeah, and I’d like that peace. I think Finn would like it too.”
“One day. Maybe I’ll build it for you.” he says.
I cock a look at him, “That’s a tall promise.” Stubbornness echoes louder than my own words.
He huffs, “I’m going to say this once. I see the fight to allow yourself something you want. You push away something that in your bones and in your heart it is completely good and wholesome. I can understand that. You can keep pushing that I’ll still be there and make good on my promises.”
It’s the same song and dance, and yet I’m the one that doesn’t know the steps.
“I’m scared,” tears well up, threatening to spill down my cheeks.
“I know,” he says.
Deep down, I’m falling and I’m preparing myself for a crash.
“Are we there yet? I feel like you have hit every bump and turned every curve. Just stitch me up.” I power through, although it’s hurting like a bitch.
“Yeah. We’re almost there, just a few minutes.”
Then within a few minutes, I’m laying on a makeshift examination table under a bright ass light with half my abdomen flashing the entire room. Keola is watching every movement that D.R does, like a protective doberman. His exterior shows a rock of tense muscle while internally he’s hanging onto every breath. The sting of alcohol cleans the wound, every french and english curse word flies out of my mouth.
“I know sweet girl, I keep telling these rougheins to stop bringing y’all into here all banged up,” D.R jokes.
My eyes spring open, “You make it sound like it's an occurrence.”
D.R turns tightlip. I connect two and two. “Tessa was here before, wasn’t she?”
Their silence gives me my answer. “Bullet in the shoulder.”
“Do you all tend to leave your women with a scar?” I say before yelping in pain from the touch of D.R.
“Not typically, never the goal. Now, I’m going numb you the best I can, if I’ve learned anything the past few months, I needed a supply of lidocaine on standby,” his bedside manner is impressive, but the pinch of the needle jolts me. Tattoos I can do, but needles or blood work, oh hell no.
Speaking of tattoos, I never looked at my hip, “Did they fuck up my vine piece?” Anger bubbles, someone is going to pay.
D.R’s solid expression and Keola’s silence is all I need. I throw my head back in anger.
“Seriously,” I give up, tonight I give up.
Keola steps closer, brushing his hand through my hair, “I know a guy that can help, and maybe add a new piece if you want.” D.R drops things on the floor, scrambling to get them picked up.
Is there something I should know?
Chapter 31
Keola
Ishouldhavestayedwith her last night, but she insisted that she could change her own bandage, and if she needed help, Finn would help.
