Over the years, I bite my tongue in fear that anything I say can be used against me. I don’t want to fail my brother and sister in law.
But maybe someone can help.
“So, what are you doing for Christmas,” I ask through chattering teeth.
Keola quickly turns around and shows a face of pure shock, rendering him speechless. “Umm.”
“You know what, forget..,” I start to say, but the coldness shakes my whole body, “Fuck. Forget I asked,” I hug my body even tighter, but am yanked to the other side of the truck. A radiation of heavenly heat starts to thaw out the pain of the cold.
I can’t help but nuzzle his side like a puppy nestling against the warmth. His hand grazes my sides, his strong but rough hands pulling me into a trance of delight.
“I’m not forgetting what you just asked me. Also, why didn't you tell me you were freezing? Seriously, you’re a fucking block of ice.” He pulls me in closer.
“Cause someone won’t turn on the heat,” I protest.
“I know a certain way to warm up,” he says, holding back a laugh.
“And that’s why I didn’t say anything. Sex demon.”
“I seem to remember someone not complaining last night.”
Fucker.I shake my head, as he reaches to turn on the truck, putting the truck on full blast. I scurry from his side huddling at the open vent.
“My nipples thank you,” I joke.
“Why did you ask about Christmas?” He brings the question back.
I glance over my shoulder, searching for his eyes under the moonlight, “Truth or a pretty lie?” I offer a sheepish grin.
His eyes harden, warning me of the latter option. “Fine.”
The truth.
“Remember when I called you that one night, out of the blue,” I start off.
“Vividly.”
“I never told you why. I needed someone to distract me. You know a bit about my father.” I’m dancing around it now. But there’s the backstory and a method to our madness. “He called that night, but not for me, for Finn. He was granted supervised visitations and he manipulated his way to coming for Christmas.”
“Why didn’t you say no?” He asks defensively.
It’s your choice buddy.My words haunt me.
“Because Finn is old enough to voice his choice. Finn still holds out hope that his grandfather is a decent man. He’s never treated Finn harshly but he tries to urge him to like things that he does or try to use him in a scheme to fight off his collectors.”
“But you are his guardian, you could stop him.”
“I won’t take away Finn’s voice. It’s not fair to him, I grew up without one and only had Joshua and Lilly to protect me.” The look on his face tells me he doesn’t agree with me, but the sudden softness shows respect.
“Anyway, he weaseled himself to coming for Christmas.” My words slow as the truth comes out.
His hand starts to rub my back, “And you want me to come in case he starts something.”
Yes and no. “Look I’m going to have you be the muscle, but you slipped into my life and typically I want those I care about with me at Christmas.”
He slowly leans over, resting his head on my shoulder, “Say what you mean.”
I scrunch my lips, fighting it. “I did.”
