He’s observant. Perceptive.
“I’m sorry Lottie. I know how you feel about him.”
I rest my chin on his head. “Kiddo, don’t apologize to me. I’ve told you that you have a choice. I have to remind myself that you are fully able to make choices. I have to compromise with you.” I kiss the back of his head. “You are smart to warn him about behaving.”
“That goes for you too. You can’t poke a bear.”Smartass.I wrap my arms around him.
“I can try.” I ruffle his hair and he shoots up. “Can you finish the dishes for me? I just need a moment okay?” He hands me my phone. And nods, “Then can I go read?”
“Yes,mon petit prince. But not too late. We got school” I say to him, leaving the kitchen.
“Who wakes up who?” He calls out, reminding me who’s more responsible than the other.
I don’t smoke, well not anymore. But I need a damn cigarette. He doesn’t deserve to have a crappy family life, more like family members.
My mind is already racing, something in me said not keep it in, that I need to talk it out. Aunt Lilly is biased in the way she hates her brother. Brayden might want to cause damage for me, it’s all playful. I can’t call Tessa, although my friend outside of work, I don’t want to burden her with this.
There is only one person in my mind, who wouldn’t judge me or lecture me, someone who’s been lurking in my mind, someone I don’t know if I trust them, but something calls to them.
And part of me dreads it, giving into their game.
After a couple of rings, it clicks to answer, “Charlotte.” The grumble in his voice.
Keola Eli.
The man that can both infuriate me and make me fumble over myself in a matter of minutes.
I don’t say anything.
Hesitant. This was a mistake.
I go mute, no words coming out, just the air in my lungs.
“Charlotte, I can hear you breathing,” he says again.
“How do you know it’s me?” valid question.
“I saved your number after Tessa had given it to me earlier.”
Oh that was smart. “Oh.”
I stepped outside into the backyard, the cold air hitting my face, the cool grass on my feet, grounding me. There’s silence between us again.
“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have called. I don’t know what I expected.” I blurt out, any excuse to end the misery I am feeling. I shouldn’t have called him. We have nothing in common, we just met, and he’s a pain in my ass. Mostly.
And yet his smooth tanned skin, his dark brown eyes, something captivates my attention.
“What’s on your mind?” his sincerity shines in his voice.
“A lot.” I chew on my lip. I don’t know why I truly called him. There is a small strain on my voice. Call it nerves, even call it fear. But I feel like back in that time when I was alone with just Josh with me.
“Do you want some company?” He asks boldly. A slight tingling runs through me.
Say yes.“No, it’s fine.”
“You can talk to me. I’m not a complete asshole.” he laughs.
Maybe not. But I wasn’t going to also rope someone new into my string of chaos.
