She shakes her head and releases a shaky breath.
“You were a toddler, Carter. A fucking baby.”
A solitary tear falls down her cheek.
“Yes, I’m angry. You didn’t deserve what happened to you.” She says quietly.
I can feel my brothers watching us and listening to every word, probably because I never speak about this topic.
I place my palm on her chin and gently tilt her head back.
“And you didn’t deserve what happened to you, Little Heathen. Do you understand that?”
More tears fall, and I know the truth before she says the words that gut me.
“Some, but not all. I made everything worse with my defiance.”
She stares at me, my broken girl, guilt reflecting in her eyes—shame is the last thing that belongs there. Talking about what happened to me is always the last thing I want to do, but if it helps her, maybe it’ll be worth it.
“My father and his men poured water over my face—buckets of water. I fought back. Then they beat me for fighting. Did I deserve that? Is it my fault for having the will to survive?”
“No,” she whispers quietly as I remove my hand from her face.
“But I-“
Killian looks ready to blow a gasket, and Knox isn’t far behind him, but he speaks to her in a gentle tone.
“Enough, Tesoro. If it wasn’t Carter’s fault, it can’t be yours either. You were a child—a victim. Don’t re-victimize yourself. You didn’t deserve it then and you don’t deserve it now.”
She glances at me and then Knox before looking at Killian, sitting at the far end of the couch.
“What do you need, Killer?”
Heather pulls her bottom lip between her teeth as her cheeks turn crimson.
“Have any of you ever wondered-“
She drops her head and shuts her eyes tight.
“Oh, my god. I’m embarrassing myself. Never mind. What I need is to not talk about my past anymore tonight.”
Killian motions for her to come over to him. I watch as she crawls—fucking crawls over to him.
She climbs onto his lap and stares at him, her eyes full of hunger and desperate with need.
Kill runs his tongue over his bottom lip as she tracks the movement with her eyes.
“Finish what you were asking before. Have we ever wondered-what?”
Heather squeezes her eyes shut tight when Killian gently reprimands her.
“No, baby. Eyes on me. There’s no hiding and no shame. Tell us what you want.”
He traces his thumb over her bottom lip, and she darts her tongue out, licking at his flesh. The room is silent other than our harsh breaths as we wait for her to say the words. We know what she wants. It was only a matter of time—but she has to expressit audibly. The need in this room is visceral, as if it’s an entirely separate person.
“I want all of you—at once to take me away from the past. I wondered if any of you had thought about being with me at the same time.”
Killian groans as he runs his hands down her sides.
