“Physically and emotionally. Tell me what you need.”
“This,” she breathes out, the singular word sounding as if she’s still in a state of bliss.
I release a sigh of contentment because while I’m not able to let her touch me, I’m not on guard like I always have been. Women have always thought they could change me. Like they’ll be the one touch I can tolerate. I thought Heather would be my exception, but as I learned the hard way, she isn’t.
“Are you okay?”
Turning onto her back, she lies beside me with her hands tucked under her, as always. I press a kiss to her forehead.
“I’m fine. Areyouokay?”
Her cheeks turn red, and she laughs uncomfortably.
“My mind is kind of in shock that I took two men at the same time. Who does that?”
Stroking my fingers over her jaw, I’m afraid of her response before I even ask the question.
“Are you ashamed?”
Adjusting her head, she kisses my palm.
“No, Carter. I’m surprised a little, but not ashamed. What I have with both of you is beautiful. I love you both. How could I feel bad about what we have?”
I trace my finger over her scar and am lost in the truth.
“I almost lost you. The torture I endured in my childhood was nothing compared to the pain of never seeing you again. It was as if I were bleeding out before the knife ever penetrated my flesh.”
Heather closes her eyes tight before reopening them and focusing on me like I’m her entire world, as she is mine.
“I’m here now.” She whispers, and I nod, staying silent until Knox returns. I don’t tell her how concerned I am that her presence has been demanded for Killian’s fight. I’ll keep my worst fears to myself and not tell her this might be temporary.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
KILLIAN
Listening to the three of them fuck last night wasn’t fun, but it gave me focus. Clarity. I want her—I want what they have with her. The lack of trust is the biggest thing standing in my way. Well, that, and the fact that she’s so pissed off she can’t look at me without daggers in her eyes. I don’t blame her, but I have to get her to spend time with me, so she can see for herself that I’m not as much of an asshole as she thinks I am.
I’ve been stalking the kitchen all morning waiting for her to come in for coffee. I’ve made three pots of coffee so far. The first was at four in the morning. The second because I was afraid the first wasn’t fresh anymore. And the third because the second pot got cold.
When she comes down the hallway and into the kitchen, the sight of her takes my breath away. She looks so fucking gorgeous in tiny black shorts and a matching tank top. She must have showered because her long blonde hair is wet. Her blue eyes settle on mine before she quickly lowers her head, avoiding my gaze.
“I’m just going to get coffee and I’ll be out of your hair.”
I pour her a cup and add the small amount of cream she likes. I hold it up for her, and she places her hands on her hips and glares at me.
“I can get my own coffee, Killian.”
I let a deep breath out, knowing I deserve this attitude.
“Please, Heather. Please.”
Moving closer to me, she extends her arm, and I hand her the purple cup. It’s smaller than the others, but since it’s her favorite color, it felt right.
“I spent the entire night trying to come up with words to express how much I regret everything I did to you.”
She holds her free hand up.
“Killian, stop. It doesn’t matter what you say. The only thing that matters is your actions, and yours told me everything I need to know about you.”
