He grabs my waist and turns me over.
“This is how it would go if you were gone. I’d destroy everyone who was responsible for us losing you. They would die in the most painful way. It would be excruciating. Their last words would be begging for death, just to make the anguish finally end. It wouldn’t matter if it were one or one-thousand. The carnage would be great. And then, as I stand in their blood, I’d take my life because I will not-“
He releases a harsh, pained breath before continuing.
“Fucking. Live. Without. You.”
Carter grips my face in his hands, his gaze burns into mine, and I know that he isn’t being dramatic—he means every word.
“As soon as I receive confirmation that you’ve been taken from me. It’s decided. Killian and Knox can take care of each other because I’ll be in the afterlife searching for you. Because I don’t just love you. You are my reason for every breath. You die—I die.”
I collapse against his chest, my hand over his heart, and listen to him breathe.
I have no idea if there is an afterlife, but I close my eyes and decide there is. Because the thought of never seeing Carter again is too painful to bear.
CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE
KILLIAN
“Killian?” Heather asks as she emerges from the bathroom wearing Carter's t-shirt.
“Can we go for a walk? Just the two of us?”
My brothers exchange a knowing glance, but I don’t have a clue why.
“Are you going to put pants on, Killer?”
With a soft giggle, she lifts the shirt, showing her little black shorts.
Heather takes my hand and we walk outside. The night is unusually warm with only a soft breeze blowing through her hair.
“First Carter. Now me? What’s going on, Killer?”
“Come on, slowpoke,” she laughs as she pulls me in the direction of the rose garden, “It’s just a conversation. Don’t be a scaredy cat.”
“Scaredy cat.” I repeat her strange word that I’m almost certain isn’t actually a word.
When we get to the garden, she points to a seat.
“Sit.”
I take the seat even though I have a bad feeling about this. Something about her feels off, but I let it go because after what we told her earlier tonight, that’s expected.
Placing her hands on the table, she demands, “Hold my hands, Killian. Stop being difficult.”
I take both her hands and hold them tight and wait for her to speak.
“We have been through a lot, you and I. Our relationship has changed, and I’m grateful I had the opportunity to know the real you. Thank you for showing this side to me. You have a beautiful heart, Killian.”
I tilt my head, staring at her thoughtful gaze, still trying to figure out what’s going on.
“I forgive you.”
My chest constricts, and the air leaves my lungs. Three words I never expected to come from her beautiful lips. I knew we were working past it, but I still haven’t forgiven myself for what I did. I’m not sure I ever will.
“I need you to promise to take care of your brothers if I don’t make it through this. I don’t mean control them but be there for them. You will all need each other. I’m asking you to do this for me. Take care of your brothers and know I loved you. Because I did. And nothing that happens can ever take that away. Our story will never end because a love like ours never dies. I love you, Killian. Forever.”
I sit staring at her trying to process what she just said to me, while my heart pounds like a machine gun in my chest.
