CHAPTER ONE
KILLIAN
Emptiness.
Guilt.
Regret.
Two people are gone, and I have no one to blame but myself.
I did this.
Dropping to my knees, I stare at the spot where she died. The blood is fading—this is all I have left of her.
Dozens of roses are scattered on the ground, all in varying stages of decay.
I left them all.
A purple rose for every day that has passed since I killed her.
A life taken too soon.
By me.
It’s not just her though. I’ve lost my brothers too.
I assume Carter is also dead, but I can’t know for sure because Knox won’t speak to me. Alive or dead, they are done with me.
Before he walked away, Knox said,“Sometimes brothers do say goodbye.”
Five simple words that fucking destroyed me. My brothers are my entire world, and his words are gut-wrenching, made worse by the memory of Carter in the hospital on death's door.
It was my responsibility to take care of my brothers. It’s always been that way. Even when Carter was taken, I always had Knox.
I was born a triplet. I don’t know how to be alone. And yet, here I am.
What I’ve done is unforgivable.
This is my penance—to wander around the earth without them. Carter, Knox, and Heather are gone.
My heart is shattering.
The all-consuming pain is all that remains.
CHAPTER TWO
KILLIAN
Silence.
Every room seems quieter than the last. I walk into Carter’s bedroom, grab the hairbrush on the dresser, and sit on the black blanket covering his bed. Holding the brush to my face, I inhale her scent, knowing I don’t have a right, even to this. The comfort of her smell lingering in my nose, the sweetness of her shampoo, is both soothing and painful. Anguish fills me, somethingI do deserve.
The night of January fifteenth plays on repeat in my mind, worsening when I sleep because I see it all over again in vivid detail. Every night I try to stay awake because the pain is too much to bear. And every night I fail.
Losing the people that mean the most to you isn’t the worst thing. It’s being the one who caused it. It’s been thirty days since I caused the destruction of my entire world—and it hasn’t gotten easier. The guilt is heavy, and often I can barely breathe. Maybe this is my sentence—to live with what I’ve done. I have nothing left but this silence that’s slowly driving me insane. I close my heavy eyelids, and like the last twenty-nine nights, lose my fight to stay awake.
The dark clouds and lightning scattering across the sky feel like a warning. Carter and Knox are pulled away from her as the EMTs check her over.
