But I think she’s happy for me that I’ll be working with him again on my own terms, as much or as little as I want. The first set of slush pile manuscripts arrived yesterday, and it was an amazing feeling to know they were all mine, and also that I didn’t have to knock them out in twenty-four hours. I can really dig into each one, and give it the chance it deserves.
When I told her about Roan and the way he publicly humiliated himself to apologize to me, and how he offered to move to the city, she was quiet for a moment.
“Love isn’t like the movies, sweetheart,” she said at last. “Big, romantic gestures are fun, of course. But you want someone who will be there for you every day, someone who makes all the boring little moments feel like home.”
I knew she was thinking of PopPop and I had to smile at the idea that she still loves him with all she’s got—that he’s still making their boring little moments feel like home.
Truthfully, if I’m judging Roan on the everyday moments and not on the drama, maybe it would be fair to say that the dumping and the apologizing werebothout of character, and that maybe they should cancel each other out.
Or maybe that’s just me giving my mind reasons to say yes to Roan. Because my heart forgave him the moment he appeared in that window with his guitar in his hands and sorrow in his eyes.
“You okay?” he asks quietly now.
J.B. has just stopped in and Meg invited her to pull up a chair. The two aredeepin conversation about a series of graphic novels that I haven’t read yet, but that Meg is excited to show me.
“Yes,” I tell Roan. “I’m fine. Just thinking about what a busy month it’s been.”
As if on cue, my phone buzzes in my pocket. It’s been buzzing every couple of minutes since we arrived.
“Your whole life changed,” he says, nodding. His blue eyes are locked on mine, and I don’t see fear there.
A week ago, he would have looked away, afraid to let me see his suspicion that I’ve got one foot out the door. Now he wants me to know he trusts me.
“And I’m happy here,” I tell him. “I didn’t plan these changes, but every single one of them is exactly what I didn’t know I needed.”
“That’s good,” he says with a thoughtful expression.
“You’re not worried I’ll change my mind?” I ask him.
“If you change your mind about your career or where you want to live, I’m not worried at all,” he sayscalmly, glancing over at Meg. “I know we’d go with you.”
“You wouldn’t really take Meg from her family?” I say, asking the question I’ve been wondering about since he made his big pronouncement at my window.
“I talked to her about it,” he says. “She said the city isn’t so far away and we could come back for visits. She’s curious about New York. I guess it’s hard not to be when you live in a small town where so many New Yorkers come to relax.”
“Wow,” I say, impressed. “Well, maybe we should take her for a weekend just for fun. I don’t want to move back, but I’d love to give her that experience of visiting. If she wants it.”
My phone buzzes again, and again I ignore it.
“What are you guys talking about?” Meg asks suddenly, as if she has a sixth sense about being the subject of our conversation.
“Taylor was offering to take us to New York for a weekend,” Roan tells her. “If you wanted to go and just explore the city.”
“No way,” Meg says, looking super excited.
“You guys could stay at the penthouse,” J.B. says. “We don’t use it, but my dad won’t sell it. It’s just sitting there except when we go to the city for fun.”
“We wouldn’t want to impose,” Roan says right away.
“Penthouse?” Meg echoes at the same time.
“It just means the highest condo unit in the building,”J.B. explains. “It’s supposed to be extra fancy, and it does have a great view. You know, as long as you’re not afraid of heights.”
“I’m not,” Meg says, glancing at her dad and then at me.
We both smile and shake our heads.
The server comes out with our food and the table gets quiet except for the crackling of the fire and the occasional buzz of my phone as we all enjoy our meal.
