“I mean, if I mess this up and he wants me out,” I hear myself say. “I don’t have any place else to run to from here.”
“Taylor Rose Greer,” Grammy says firmly. “Youalwayshave a place to run to. Anytime, no matter the reason, wherever I am is your home too.”
“Thanks, Grammy,” I manage as tears fill my eyes.
“Now, sweetheart,” she says. “I know you feel like you’ve made mistakes in the past. But you have a good, kind heart. I know that if you close your eyes and you sit with this, you’ll know whether it’s right or not.”
My grandmother has always had an unshakable belief in me that I’ve done nothing to deserve. Her words warm me, but they don’t do much to combat my fears.
“You think I only feel that way because I’m your grandmother?” she guesses correctly when I don’t answer. “Well, what about the time you insisted that we check on Heddy Carmichael?”
I can’t help feeling a little redeemed by that memory. When Heddy was late for my grandmother’s pre-Christmas sandwich buffet I knew something was wrong. I was supposed to be serving drinks to the guests, but I walked away from the line at Grammy and PopPop’s little bar and dragged my mother with me to see what was keeping Heddy.
It turned out that she had broken an ankle getting out of her shower. If we hadn’t come as quickly as we did the doctors said it could have been very bad.
“That was just one good instinct,” I say.
“I’ll bet Heddy’s grateful you had it,” Grammy retorts. “And I suspect that you have a good feeling about this man and his little girl. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have been so happy when I called.”
“Maybe,” I allow.
“Now you overthought it as soon as I started asking questions,” Grammy says. “And I’m sorry for that. But all I want is for you to follow your heart and be happy, my sweet girl. The world may have thrown a wrench into some of your plans, but that’s not your fault. Don’t let it make my lion cub into a meek little lamb.”
“Thank you, Grammy,” I tell her, feeling a little better at her kind words. “How are your plans for the holidays coming?”
That launches her into a truly delightful, gossipy chat about all her plans, her friends, and the amazing meals she’s going to prepare.
I let myself relax a little and just enjoy our talk.
Just after we wrap up the call, I spot Roan heading back out toward his truck with his brother. The tension that’s so often on his face is gone now. He looks… thoughtful.
Suddenly, he turns to look up at the shop and there’s no time for me to turn away. He’s caught me watching him.
Mortified, I feel my cheeks heat and I wish I could disappear under the floorboards.
But he smiles and waves to me, and I find myself waving back.
Roan seemed so cold when I first met him. But now that he’s letting me in, I can see that he’s also accepting and kind.
I watch him until he bends to unplug the lights and he all but disappears into the darkness of the night outside.
Maybe I really can follow my heart just one more time…
10
TAYLOR
Once I decide I’m going to give myself a chance to get to know Roan, I start to feel excited, and not just about him. I’m feeling more at home in town, the shop is shaping up, and suddenly the week starts to fly.
Meg comes straight to me after school the day after my chat with Grammy and we have a blast organizing books with Christmas music playing on the radio. We decide we’ll keep it up all week, and when Roan asks me privately if she’s in the way, I tell him honestly that sheishelping, even when she stops to read a book or trots back to the lot to check on her dad. It feels like I’m not alone, like someone is rooting for me.
An electrician shows up on Tuesday and goes to work in the basement for hours. Something about the panel and Roan insisting that everything beone hundred percentfor me.
On Wednesday, Roan surprises me, showing up with paint and supplies. It turns out that his brother and dad are going to work the lot for the day, so he can paint the bookshop.
“It’s just a fresh coat of the light green you mentioned,” he tells me. “We don’t have time for more than two coats, so we can’t go dark.”
But I’m thrilled, and when he opens the paint and I see a pale green with the barest hint of yellow, just like I imagined, I actually squeal and jump up and down a little.
