But I’m not getting into my issues with sunny little Miss Bookshop. It’s the last thing she’d want to hear about.
And besides, I kind of like having someone in my life who doesn’t know the whole story.
“Life, I guess,” I answer instead, gesturing vaguely around us.
Her brow furrows like she knows I’m not really answering the question. But to her credit she doesn’t ask any follow-ups.
“Anyway,” I tell her. “I didn’t want you to think I was only helping to be nice. It’s in my interest that the building is well-maintained.”
“Oh no,” she breathes, her eyes widening in worry as she looks down. “The carpet.”
“Yeah,” I say. “It’s fine. I probably should have done it myself. I didn’t realize the floors underneath were in this kind of shape.”
“Oh, thank goodness,” she sighs.
Her relieved smile unlocks something in my chest and I find myself smiling back at her.
“I’m happy to help out with other stuff too,” I hear myself say. “These shelves aren’t the best. If you want them fixed up and painted, just let me know.”
I probably shouldn’t offer. For all I know, she’ll run out her year of lease and move on, and then I’ll be stuck with a shop full of bookshop stuff when the next tenant wants to open a frozen yogurt bar or something.
But I can’t seem to shut my mouth when this girl is around. And anyway, paint doesn’t cost much.
Especially compared to the golden smile she’s giving me right now. I feel like I’m basking in it.
The front door bangs open before I can say anything else that I shouldn’t.
“Dad,”Meg yells.
“Oh, shoot, honey,” I say, turning to her. “I didn’t realize it was getting so late.”
“That’s okay,” she says. “I figured you’d be here.”
“How did you figure that?” I asked.
“It’s where I’d go,” she says as she moves right past me. “Hi, Taylor. You moved the shelves.”
“Well, your dad moved the shelves,” she says with a smile. “I just told him where to put them.”
“It looks better this way,” Meg says, walking around appraisingly. “Now you just need a lot more books.”
“Tell me about it,” Taylor says. “Speaking of which,can I show you a list of books? I want to see if you’ve heard of any of them.”
“Okay,” Meg says.
And just like that, they’re bent over Taylor’s phone chattering away about a bunch of books, and I may as well be part of the background.
So, I apply myself to the paint supplies I brought over, first placing a tarp, and then carefully priming the wood frame.
I love seeing my daughter so happy, but it’s still hard not to let Taylor and Meg’s easy relationship get to me. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out fun stuff to do with Meg and making sure we have time to bond between work and school.
But there’s something special in her conversations with Taylor, a pace to their speech, where they get so excited that they’re talking over each other, and neither of them seems to mind.
I guess that’s more a woman’s thing, and it hurts a little to know there’s a role I can’t fill for her, and a role her own mother can’t be bothered with.
It also scares me how much I like hearing her like this with Taylor.
I don’t want to play the fool again, especially not to a pretty young girl. And I don’t have enough energy left at the end of the day to put into courting a city girl anyway.
