“I won’t.”
“You don’t know that,” she countered.
I held my hand out to her.
She came to me, and if I were standing, my knees would’ve buckled with relief.
She took it and sat down by me on the bed. I stroked a cheek. She didn’t pull away. Her eyes searched mine as if she were waiting for some epiphany to strike.
“I get it.” I brought her hand to my lips and kissed the back of it. “You’ve been through hell. And you think that if you don’t let anyone in, you won’t get hurt again. But that’s not living, Dee. That’s surviving.”
Her lips parted like she wanted to argue but couldn’t find the words.
“And for what it’s worth,” I added, myvoice softening even more, “I’m not Cillian. I’m not going to hurt you. But I can’t prove that to you if you keep running away.”
“I don’t know how to do this,” she conceded, her voice barely above a whisper.
I tilted her chin up so she had to meet my gaze. “I’ve never felt this way before, either. How about we find out together how to do this?”
“You’ll leave.” There was a tremor in her voice.
“I’ll always come back.”
“But—”
I put a finger over her lips to silence her. “My grandma used to say, don’t borrow trouble from tomorrow. Yesterday is in the past. We learn from it, but we don’t let it stall us from moving forward in the present.”
She nodded. “I have to get the bar ready to open.”
“I’ll be down as soon as I get a shower to help you.”
“Okay.” She kissed me this time.
After she closed the door behind her, I ran a hand through my hair and let out a long, frustrated sigh.
Dee Gallagher was the most stubborn, complicated, infuriating woman I’d ever met. And she was also the only one I’d ever been willing to fight this hard for.
There were a lot of things I wasn’t sure about—how the wind would play on a blind shot, whether I could sink a tricky downhill putt, or if my driver would hold up under pressure. But if there was one thing I wascertain of, it was that Dee Gallagher might be scared, but she wasn’t the only stubborn one in this equation.
“Guess I’ll just have to push past your distrust and doubts, Wildcat,” I muttered to no one in particular before heading off to take a shower.
CHAPTER 20
Dee
Imanaged to get through the lunch service and thenescaped.
I told Ronan the pub was his until I was back. He didn’t ask for explanations as he could see I had a lot on my mind.
I didn’t tell Jax because I didn’t know what to say. He was behaving like he always did—flirting, smiling, poking fun—pretendingthat he and I were together.
Now that we’d had sex, were weactuallytogether?
I didn’t know exactly what I was feeling—but I knew it was a messy mix of panic, anxiety, satisfaction, thrill, and the big bad:fear.
I wrapped my coat and scarf around me, put on a woolen hat, and headed out from the kitchen door so no one would spot me sneaking out.
So, Jax wouldn’t.
