“For fuck’s sake, Jared,” North burst out. “You didn’t fail anyone.”
Wow.
He didn’t think he’d seen North show this much anger.
“Do you remember that they all died?” Jared said. “They were under my protection. That was on me.”
“All of them knew the risks of living with us. Of working for you. They all chose to stay because you took care of them. Because their lives would have been a hundred times worse outside of the compound. You didn’t know that Beltran knew the location of the compound. That one of the guards sold us out.”
That fucker.
Watson.
They’d found him and made sure that he’d died very slowly and painfully. But it hadn’t eradicated Jared’s feelings of guilt.
He couldn’t put anyone else he cared about at risk. North could take care of himself and Jared had been unable to push him away. Even to keep him safe.
But he couldn’t keep Angie.
“It was Watson’s fault. It was Betran’s fault. It wasn’t yours,” North told him.
“I should have been there.”
“Why? So we could have died too?” North asked. “What would that have achieved? Do you really think that anyone who died that day would have wanted you to die too? That they’d want you to take on all of the guilt rather than the people really at fault? How long are you going to try and atone for their deaths, Jared? How long will you live a miserable, cold existence?”
“Is that what we’re doing? Living a miserable, cold existence?” he asked.
“Well, it’s certainly not sunshine and rainbows.”
Jared sighed as he thought that through. North wasn’t wrong. None of the people who’d died that day would have blamed him.
“Not sure I’d call Angie sunshine and rainbows,” Jared commented. She was as broken as they were.
North shrugged.
“And you want that too? Sunshine and rainbows?” Jared asked.
North gave him a wary look. “I didn’t say that. I brought her here for you.”
“And what would you say if I agreed to keep her only if we were all in a relationship? Together.”
“I’m not part of this.”
“Actually, North, you are. You are mine. If you want her to be mine then she has to be yours, too. I’m not having a relationship with Angie separate from our relationship.”
“I don’t want her.”
“Don’t try and lie to me. You’re already in trouble for that. You talk to her. You touch her. You look at her when you think no one is watching. I know you feel something even though you’ll deny it. All or nothing.”
“So you’ll agree to keep her if I agree to be in a relationship with her?”
“No,” Jared said. “If you want this relationship, then we work on ensuring she wants it too. I’m not my father. I’m not going to force her to stay. That would mean nothing.”
North’s jaw went tight. “So if I agree and so does she, you’ll stop trying to live your life atoning for the past and you’ll start looking to the future.”
Was it time to do that? Was it right?
Yeah. He felt like it was.
