Page 62 of Sweet Oblivion

“Whatever. We’re sharing a bed.” I look away, not sure how much I want to share, even as they all try to coax more out of me. “It’s a big bed.”

Kaleigh opens her mouth, and I point my fork at her in warning. “Don’t.”

“But—”

“No.” I wave the fork side to side. “Nope. Not a word. Yes, it’s a big bed. Yes, all we’ve done is sleep. No, there has been no touching.” My head swings to Lexie and Dillan. “And before you ask, yes, no touching means no sex either.”

“Why not?” Dillan whines. “Ryker’s hot.”

“And he’s pierced.” Everyone’s head whips to Lexie’s. “What? He and Lucky both got pierced last winter.”

Kaleigh tilts her head to the side and smiles like she’s trying to get a visual.

“Like together?” she asks, then ducks when Lexie tosses a napkin at her face.

“No, you twat. They made a bet, they both lost. So they both got pierced. End of story.” Her smile is smug as she leans in closer to me. “But seriously, it’s a whole lot of fun to play with.”

My face flames.

“Like how much fun?” Dillan smiles sheepishly, curiosity getting the better of her.

“No comparison.” The beautiful blonde baker practically glows with excitement as she turns back my way. “You’ll see.”

“Says who?” I stop her and think about my next words.

Debate them.

Debate opening up myself like this.

But these women have become my home. My safe space.

The only person who personifies it more is... Ryker.

And I need advice.

“I might not really have anything to compare it to,” I finally force myself to admit.

It’s Ashton’s turn to tilt her pretty head. “Like... anything?”

Pretty sure I just blew her mind.

“Wait... did I just blow your mind?” When everyone nods, I smile triumphantly. “Well, that’s the only thing I’ve ever blown.”

Kaleigh’s laugh is more snort than laugh. “Pretty proud of yourself for that one, aren’t you?”

I hold my fingers up and pinch the empty space between my thumb and forefinger. “Little bit.”

“Like... ever?” Pretty sure Dillan is having a hard time accepting the truth. “But you’re twenty-four, right?”

I nod.

“Ever?” Lexie must decide this calls for more cake because she takes another three plates from the tray next to us and swaps them out for the empties in the middle of the table. “Ever, ever?”

“Never,” I confirm. “Guys, you’ve got to understand. There are things about my childhood. Things I don’t want to talk about. But things that made me not want to do things... like drink. Or date. Or have real friends. I don’t trust easily. And I have never trusted anyone with my safety, so how was I supposed to trust them with my body?”

“Oh, honey.” Ashton throws her arms around me, her pregnant belly pressing against my ribs as I try not to wince. “I hate that you grew up like that.”

“Me too. But I’m working on changing that.” I pat her back as she sniffles. I don’t know how she’s going to get through the next few weeks before her due date hits. “Ryker may have offered to help with that.”