No, no, no!
I stood abruptly, the panic and pain so tight around my chest I couldn’t inhale enough oxygen. My verbal declarations of denial were caught between short, sharp breaths.
“Taran.” Quinn was suddenly in front of me, holding me by the biceps. “I didn’t cheat. Okay. I didn’t cheat. It was after we broke up. I got shit-faced. I don’t even remember it. I just remember waking up next to her?—”
“No!” I shrieked, pushing him away as the sobs burst out of me.
Through my tears I saw Quinn was crying.
He wiped helplessly at his cheeks.
How could this be Quinn? The person I trusted most outside of Mum. This … person … he looked like him, but he couldn’t be him. Quinn would never hurt me like this. Feeling my nausea rise and my breathing strain even further, I took a few calming breaths. Otherwise, I was going to be physically ill.
Quinn waited.
Finally, I bit out, “You were drunk?”
He nodded, his features strained. “Taran, I was devastated when I came back from Glasgow. Forde said I needed to drown my sorrows, so we went to the Lantern and then he invited a few of us back to his place. Kiera was apparently there. I don’t remember any of it. But I woke up the next day in Forde’s guest bed … with her.”
Even as rage thrummed through me, I tried to piece together the entire picture. “Have you … have you been dating her? While we were broken up … did you date her?”
“No!” He stepped toward me. “I have avoided her ever since.”
The panic crept back in. “And now she’s pregnant?”
Quinn nodded, looking destroyed. “She’s pregnant. I went with her yesterday for the ultrasound.”
My nausea rose at the image his words conjured. “And you believe her … that it’s yours?”
“Why lie when she’ll be found out when the baby arrives? It’s mine. I believe her.” He lowered his gaze. “And I thought you and I were over … so …”
“So … what?”
Reluctantly, Quinn met my gaze again. “So … I promised her yesterday that we’d try to make it work. Together.”
I barely heard his next words.
“I can’t be like my dad, Taran. I can’t let my kid be raised alone by its mum.”
“But you don’t have to be with her to raise your kid together,” I whispered, even as I felt my heart breaking. I could feel it in the sharp split down my sternum. “I can … I can try to get past it. If it was really a drunken mistake, I can get past it. We can try to do this together. You don’t need to be with her to be a good dad.”
Quinn’s expression turned agonized. “My father is a piece of shit. I promised myself I would be the best dad ever … even if that means sacrificing what I want.” He swiped at an escaping tear as the muscle in his jaw clenched. “I can’t be with you, Taran. I made a promise to Kiera. We’re getting married before the baby gets here.”
My own tears fell freely and quickly.
Then it hit me.
This was it.
He was telling me it was over between us. Forever.
Quinn McQuarrie, love of my life, was marrying someone else.
Feeling the nausea rise, I rushed for the small bathroom off the living room, falling to my knees before the toilet just in time. I vomited my guts out, convulsing into the bowl as all my fear and panic ejected itself from my body. Sobbing in heartbreak and mortification as my stomach finally calmed, I realized Quinn was holding my hair.
I reached for the toilet roll to wipe my mouth and shoved him as I stumbled to my feet.
He tried to reach for me again.
