In comparison, Heather’s first-year accommodation was very modern and comfortable. There were five bedrooms off a shared kitchen and living area. Our common room had included a small kitchenette we were always fighting over and hard, uncomfortable chairs. Heather’s was a full kitchen with shiny new appliances and a large, comfy sectional sofa with a television and coffee table.
Her bedroom, while small, had its own en suite (try sharing a bathroom with four other girls, not all of whom got along), a double bed (mine had been a single that Quinn fell out of a few times in those first few months when we were still together), and a lovely study area with a desk.
Angus, however, was blind to it all.
“It is not.” Heather scowled at her brother.
“It is so!” Angus threw up his arms in exasperation. “Enjoy your rubbish new place.” He spun toward Kiera who was helping her daughter unpack. “Mum, can I go wait in the car?”
“No. Not alone.”
“I’m waiting in the car!” he yelled, face turning red before he whirled around, stomping out.
Heather sighed heavily. “Why can’t he just say he’s going to miss me instead of being a pain in the arse?” She dropped an armload of books onto her new bed. “I’ll go get him.”
“Good girl,” Quinn muttered, squeezing her shoulder as she passed.
My heart ached for his wee boy. “Poor Angus.”
“They fight like cats and dogs, but he looks up to her.” Kiera threw me a trembling smile. “He’s going to miss her.” Her voice broke and Gary crossed the small room to pull her into his arms. “I-I can’t.” She tried to pull away. “I can’t let her see me upset. I feel sick. It feels wrong leaving her here. My wee gi—” Kiera covered her mouth to stifle a sob.
Gary jerked his chin toward Quinn, and he hesitated ever so slightly before glancing at me.
Understanding, my chest squeezed with a bit of discomfort. But I pulled up my big-girl knickers and gestured to Kiera. “I’ll wait outside.”
Gary followed me out as Quinn pulled Kiera into his embrace. The sight sent a flare of jealousy through me that I hated but couldn’t deny. They would always be connected by their children, and nothing would change that. Kiera had years with the man I loved. I just had to accept it.
“There’s nothing there.” Gary assured me as we walked through the common room, nodding to Heather’s new roommates. We were the last to arrive, so they were already getting acquainted with one another.
“Where?” I played dumb as we stepped out into the hallway by the entrance.
“Kiera and Quinn. It’s just … only they know what this really feels like. Dropping a kid off they’ve raised together for eighteen years. That’s all that is in there.”
“I know that.” I did know that. It didn’t change the fact that it would always sting, even if that sting was getting easier to bear. Being with Quinn was worth it.
An hour later, Heather had talked Angus around, though he’d grown quiet now. We unpacked Heather and then offered to order takeaway for her and her new roommates. That went down a treat and hopefully ingratiated Heather to them, but we left just as the food arrived. Gary and I walked out first to leave Heather to say goodbye to her mum, Dad, and Angus.
Kiera kept it together until we reached our parked cars and then she started to cry. I gave her a hug and reassured her Heather would be fine. Quinn hugged her next and then he kissed Angus goodbye and told him he’d see him in a few weeks.
Gary, Kiera, and Angus left for home, leaving me to comfort Quinn.
“I’m all right,” he promised as we drove toward our hotel. “She seemed nervous but excited, so I’m happy for her. This is life. Your kids grow up.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to ask him about the kid thing, but I quickly decided against it. Today wasn’t the day.
But at some point, we needed to talk about it.
I just hoped it wasn’t going to be another obstacle in our way.
46.Quinn
It had been a long day and a lot had happened, so that could be why impatience rode me as Taran told me for the third time that she was fine.
I didn’t know if it was our conversation on the ferry this morning about the genetic testing or watching Kiera and I share the emotion of dropping off our baby at university, or if it was something else entirely.
However, I’d thought after Taran shared her concerns about going through the testing for the breast cancer gene that it meant she was taking her vow to be honest with me to heart.
That it meant we were starting things over in the best way possible.
