“Seriously?” he yelled to me. “A text!”
There was no good reply to that, so I waited until he neared, stopping and keeping a distance between us that I was grateful for.
A strong breeze rushed across us suddenly, blowing my hair in my face. I shoved it back, meeting Quinn’s tortured, angry expression. “Well?”
“How did you find me?”
He shifted impatiently. “Annie was out walking. She saw you drive down the coastal road.”
“Why are you here?”
“I came here to make you face me when you tell me you don’t love me.” He practically seethed, bracing his hands on his hips. “Go ahead, Taran. Tell me you don’t love me and that’s why we’re over before we even restarted.”
“Quinn, you’re exhausted. I don’t want to do this with you right now. You should be home resting.”
“Aye. I should. But, see, I woke up thinking I would wake up to you, and for the second time in a week, you weren’t there. You skulked out and sent me a breakup text like a fourteen-year-old.”
That familiar panic was rising, tightening my chest like a vise. “What do you want from me, Quinn?” I gasped. “I told you before I couldn’t promise you that sex would lead to anything serious.”
“Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me and I’ll walk away.”
“I don’t love you!”
“I don’t believe you!”
I threw my hands up. “Well, there’s nothing more I can say.”
“I said, look me in the eye and say it. You looked away when you said it.”
Damn him.
Letting out a scream between gritted teeth, I spun away from him, staring up at the lighthouse.
“Why can’t you let go of the past, Taran?” His voice sounded nearer now. Pleading. Desperate. “The only way you’ll ever know what I know—that I will never, ever break your heart or leave you again—is if you give us a chance!”
I whirled around, the panic exploding out of me. “Youcanbreak my heart, Quinn! Youcanleave me!”
“I won’t. Taran?—”
“You could die!” The truth released from me in a harsh sob. “You could die, Quinn. You can’t promise me that won’t happen.” I banded my arms around my waist, trying tosqueeze all the grief back inside, but it wracked through me uncontrollably. “I-I can’t g-go through it again. I ca-can’t lose you like I l-lost her.”
I couldn’t see his expression through my tears, but suddenly I was in Quinn’s tight embrace, his hand clutching the back of my head, pressing my face to his throat.
“Mo luaidh.” His voice was gruff in my ear. “Mo luaidh, no one can promise you that. You’re still grieving your mum. The truth is you probably always will.” He kissed my temple as I tried to calm my tears. “But you can’t live your life in fear of losing the people you love. Because what’s the point in life without love, Taran?Ilove you.” He pulled me impossibly closer. “I can’t be happy without you, and I would risk losing you a thousand times over if it meant having just the smallest chance at forever with you.”
That only made me cry harder, clinging onto him for dear life. Like he was a life raft.
And maybe he was.
“I love you so much, Quinn,” I whispered brokenly. “I love you so much that I’m scared to death.”
“Do you not think it scares me too? To love you as much as I do? But I can’t walk away from you. Be brave with me, Taran. Be brave with me. Please.Please.”
I wanted to be brave. Mum would be brave. I could almost hear her telling me that she’d give up everything for one more day with my dad.
If I pushed Quinn away now, something in me knew that he’d walk away for good. He would refuse to keep putting himself through this emotional torture. Especially for Heather and Angus. If I didn’t find some courage now, I would lose him forever.
The fear of that shook me to my core.
