“No, it’s not.” Boone leveled my sister with a glare. “I love you, Eddy. But say one more word, and you’re out of here.”
She held up her hands. “I’ll be good.”
She was such a liar.
She was never good.
Nor did I expect her to be.
But I was tired, and my man was picking up on that.
Plus, he was worried.
We all were.
That was why Eddy was adding commentary when she should be keeping her mouth shut. She jabbered when she was nervous.
“One more push coming up!” The nurse lifted my leg and practically shoved it to my throat.
“I can’t do it again, Boone.” I wept.
Boone’s big hands cupped my face, holding me really still, as he said, “She’s okay. She’s okay. Just push, baby. Push.”
I pushed.
And pushed. And pushed.
“Shoulder,” my doctor said almost too quietly for me to hear.
Then all of a sudden the room went absolutely wild around me. Two nurses jumped onto the bed, dislodging my sister from one side and Boone from the other.
An almighty pressure came from below, and I cried out in pain despite having an epidural—though it was a partially failed one which had been half my problem today.
Then I was staring at a baby covered in icky stuff on my chest and Boone’s big hand came to rest on her back to hold her in place.
“You did it, baby.” Boone’s words were deep and soothing.
I felt anything but soothed.
My vagina was on fire.
My eyes were leaking uncontrollably.
And my baby was wailing with her little shoulder looking a little weird.
I was dissociating, and I didn’t know what was going on.
“…fourth-degree tear.”
I blinked some more.
My mind swirled around me.
The baby continued to scream.
I was lost somewhere in my head.
There but not there.
