“I know I’m hard and cold.” She drops her hands from her face and plants them on the ground. “I was raised to be a suhoshin—to fight and protect. I don’t know how to be anything else.”
“Come on.” I shake her by her shoulders. “Snap out of it, Cheyun.”
“That’s not true. Idohave feelings.” She clutches at her chest with one hand. “My love is real, Jihun.”
I rear back. Captain Seo is in love with Jihun? But whoever she’s talking to isn’t him. She’s stuck in her own personal hell.
“But I don’t know how to be soft and pliant. That’s not me.” She weeps. “I can’t pretend to be someone I’m not.”
“And you don’t have to, Cheyun.” Gods, I hope she can hear me. “Besides, you’re not hard and cold. You are capable and honest. That’s different. There are so many lies and half-truths in the worlds. We need your brand of blunt honesty. And you’re always fair and kind when it counts.”
“He doesn’t love me.” She responds to me in a small, broken whisper.Thank gods.I’m getting through to her. “He wants me to change.”
“The real Jihun would never ask you to change. He respects and trusts you,” I say with absolutely certainty. “He thinks you are strong, brave, and loyal. We all do.”
Captain Seo pushes off the ground and rises to her knees.
“Also, you can’t blame him for not seeing what’s right in front of him.” I scoot closer to her. “Males are dumbasses that way.”
Her eyelashes flutter like she’s struggling to wake up.Come on, Cheyun.She’s strong. She can fight this.
“I admire you so much.” I clear my throat. “You never have to change yourself to win someone’s heart, because you’re amazing as you are.”
Her eyes shoot open on a gasp, and she whips her head around in terror.
“Hey.” I grab her arms and squeeze. “Hey, you’re okay. It’s me, your favorite suhoshin cadet. You’re okay, Cheyun. It’s over.”
Her face crumples, and she drops her forehead onto my shoulder. I’m not sure about the “over” part. Wearetrapped in hell, but I feel better having found her. It’s still terrifying as fuck, but at least I’m not alone. I pat her on the back.
She sniffs and returns the awkward pat, then she sits on her haunches and takes in our surroundings. “Hell.”
I don’t know if she’s cursing, or identifying our current location.
“I ...” Her gaze suddenly shoots back to me. “Did I ... say something?”
“You said a lot of things.” I huff a resigned sigh. I respect her too much not to tell her the truth. “From which I gathered that you’re in love with Jihun.”
“Fuck.” She drops her head.
“It isn’t as bad as that. I obviously won’t tell anyone. I have zero interest in your love life. Ugh.” I pretend to gag. When she looks up to arch an annoyed brow at me, I continue in a serious tone, “But let me make one thing clear. If Jihun doesn’t realize how fucking lucky he would be to have you, then it ishisloss, because you are the biggest badass I have ever met.”
Captain Seo’s bottom lip trembles, and she bites down on it with a scowl. I swiftly glance away with a matching scowl. But after an embarrassed second, I gasp and scramble to my feet.
“Have you seen Minju?” I look around wildly, but all I see is fire and agony.
“Oh gods.” The captain jumps to a stand. “We have to find her.”
“Minju!” I shout. “Damn it. Where are you?”
We call for her, running up and down the silver road, until our voices turn into reedy rasps.
“I can’t find it,” Minju whimpers, and my stomach lurches.
“That way.” I sprint toward her voice with Captain Seo at my heels.
We find her digging in the hard ground, her nails torn and bloody. “I can’t find it.”
“Minju.” I fall to my knees and pull her into my arms. “Wake up, Minju.”
