Even as the monster gave birth to the Gray Void.
Chapter Fifty-Two
Sunny
“You selfish, evil motherfucker.” I shove Hwanin to the ground. “She was my grandmother. I am Ungnyeo’s granddaughter.”
His shoulders shake, not with tears, but laughter, as though his sanity is slipping through the sieve of his tattered mind. Or maybe he feels relieved—it must be positivelyfreeing—now that he has unburdened himself of the horrifying truth he and the other gods kept secret for so long.
“Fuck this,” I snarl.
Where even are we?
I was so consumed by his chilling confession that I stopped paying attention to the road. It doesn’t matter. I already know where we need to go. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner I can be rid of Hwanin. He disgusts me to the depth of my soul.
At least the last few minutes with him allowed me to restore my magic.
I grab him by the collar of his robe and pull him up to his feet. Then I teleport us to the entrance to the Donggul and fling him away from me.
I remember my father’s face as he spoke of my grandfather’s soul-shattering grief.And my poor grandmother.I clench my fists andscream toward the sky, as impotent sorrow and rage pummel my insides. I spin on the male responsible for all that pain.
“Hwanung lost his fated love. Dangun lost both his parents. Ungnyeo lostherself. All because of you,” I spit at him, shaking from head to toe. “Howcouldyou?”
“I have no excuse.” The piece of trash drops his head. “I am a monster.”
“Damn right you are.” I remember the pain of the stranded in the Gray Void. All those suhoshin cadets—young, hopeful, and noble—deceived into sacrificing their lives to preserve the immortality of the selfish, unworthy gods. “You make mesick.”
“As I should,” he says and opens the gates to the Donggul. “But I will do what I can to atone for what I have done.”
A chill runs down my spine, and terror wraps around my body. I am immortal, but what I have to face in this place is far worse than any manner of death. The monster in the Donggul is no longer the kind, strong bear spirit my father described.
From what Hwanin told me, I am about to face a monster so dark and depraved that anyone who dies at its hands becomes a stranded—their life force twisted and corrupted into han.
But the former god of Heavens steps inside without fear—as though he wishes to suffer all the horrors the Donggul promises.
As I follow him into its eerie depth, I understand why the unassuminghanokwas given that name by the Suhoshin. The darkness inside the “cave” feels fathomless and expands all around us.
In a few steps, the light from the gates disappears, and we stand in the pitch black of the space. But it’s different from the Amheuk’s darkness—which is the absence of light, desolate and empty. The darkness here feelsalive, like it’s slithering with malice and violence.
Even though I listened to Hwanin’s confession, I didn’t understand the extent of the evil the former gods have created.
“What have youdone?” I snarl.
“This way.” Hwanin sounds stronger than before, in a stoic, hopeless kind of way.
I float a ball of white light above us and follow him, only because I have no other choice. I glance around the cavernous space, where the Suhoshin trials are held every Lunar New Year. I always imagined there would be endless obstacle courses that grew ever more harrowing.
But the Donggul is completely empty. No walls. No rooms. Not even pillars—much less a gauntlet. Because it was never an obstacle course that killed the suhoshin cadets.
I want this horror to end. I want to end Ungnyeo’s suffering, even for the speck of herself that remains. And I want to end the Amheuk so that it never haunts us again. I just want everything to fucking end.
Maybe noteverything. I don’t think I’m ready for my life to end ...
Fuck.
Panic grips me by the throat. I amimmortal. How do you kill a god? I stumble over my own feet, my breath coming in sharp pants. Is it inevitable then? Must I become the End of Days? I cup my clammy forehead with a trembling hand.
Ethan will save me.
