Would I trade my time with Ethan to avoid all the loss, grief, and loneliness I’ve endured for over a century? To avoid the pain and devastation that is yet to come?
I don’t know what to think—how to feel. I drag my fingers down my face, then my arms fall limply to my sides. It’s ... too much.
“In time, you will understand.” Dangun brushes the hair off my face and cups my cheek. I am too exhausted to push him away. “When the Yeoiju reveals your true destiny to you, you will know that this was the only way.”
“Even if you really are my father, you abandoned me,” I accuse past numb lips. “You let Mother die. You left me allalone.”
He draws away, his face crumpling, and I see the broken male behind the god. This hasn’t been easy for him. He didn’t want to push his family away. He had no choice but to break our hearts, as his own broke with ours.
For the first time since it sang for me, I hate the Yeoiju.
“I am so sorry, child. But believe me when I tell you that you wereneveralone.” He holds my chin and doesn’t let me look away. “I was always with you. Every step of the way. Sometimes as my various manifestations. Most times in my heart.”
My eyes drop down to the arm that hangs down by his side—the arm that stops at the elbow. Why hadn’t I seen the half-empty sleeve before? My gaze shoots back to his.
“Halmeoni?” I ask in a small, childlike voice.
Samshin Halmeom was my family. My favorite storyteller and fellow adventurer in the mountains of my childhood.
“For a few precious years, I was.” Dangun’s eyes are wet, even though his lips are curved into a soft smile. “You were such a precocious child, and I loved you so much.”
Halmeoniloved me. My ... father loved me? A faint tremor spreads through me—a spark of timid hope.
Then my lungs seize, and icy fingers grip the back of my head. Did he say ...
“Loved?” This is exactly what I feared. He must not love me anymore.
“I loved the carefree little girl that you were.” His hand feels warm and heavy on my shoulder, grounding me in the moment. My pulse flutters in my throat, and I hold my breath for his next words. “But I love you more than ever as you are now—scarred and conflicted, strong and loyal.”
This is real.He has no reason to lie to me.This must be real ... right?
“I am so proud of you, Sunny,” he says in a voice rough with emotion. “You aregoodthrough and through. Even through the heartache of losing the love of my life and the torture of keeping myself away from my only daughter, I never resented my fate. It is a privilege to be your father. I would not trade it for anything.”
I think I see ... love, deep and tender, in his gaze, but his face blurs in front of me. I swallow the salt in the back of my throat and drag my forearm across my eyes.
Can it be true?
“May I?” He raises his hand and hovers his palm over my head.
“Wh-what are you doing?” I shrink back from him.
“Nothing, unless you want me to.” He ducks his head to catch my eyes. “I ... want to share my memories with you. May I show you? Can I ask you to trust me?”
Don’t think, Sunny.My intuition has saved my ass, time and time again.Trust your gut.
“Y-yes,” I pant. “I want you to show me.”
“This will not hurt,” he says, laying a gentle hand on the crown of my head. “Just ... absorb it. See what I’ve seen. Feel what I’ve felt.”
Memories, comfortably faded like old photographs, flow into my mind. I see what my father—yes, my father—has seen. And emotions, the edges rounded not to hurt me, swirl into my heart. I feel what my father has felt—his love, his joy, his heartbreak.
I am not Daeseong’s daughter.Thank gods.The horror clawing my insides loosens its hold on me. I am Dangun’s daughter.
He slides his hand off my head and squeezes my shoulder. The corners of my lips wobble as they curve into a watery smile.
He loves me. He has always loved me.
My father bled when I fell and wept when I hurt. I was never alone.
