His thumb moves over my knuckles, back and forth, a slow, steady rhythm. A gentle touch. Grounding and bittersweet. A confirmation that we are both still here. For now.
He’s not going to say anything. I’m not going to say anything. There is nothing to say.
I turn my hand over and hold on.
It’s the only thing I can do.
Chapter 24
One For The Road
I’mlyingawakeinbed again. Ever since Hex crashed into my life, sleep has been a very disrupted thing. Even when we were kids and he lurked under my bed, he stopped me from sleeping.
Now he is lying beside me, in my bed instead of under it, and still causing me to stay awake. I guess some things never change. And other things change even when you don’t want them to.
I roll over onto my back, and stare at the rabbit shaped stain on the ceiling.
I think about my childhood. I think about the shadow under my bed. Hex said he was a child too. Was the young prince supposed to go to the human realm alone and terrorise a human boy and bond with him?
It doesn’t seem likely. So why did he? I should ask him, but he’d only make a joke of it, or deflect. Hex isn’t any good at talking about feelings. In all the very many ways we are different, in that regard we are exactly the same.
I sigh.
It doesn’t matter why or how he found me when we were children. I just hope it wasn’t because he was lonely. Because that’s sad. Especially since if he had actually talked to me instead of scaring me, I would have been his friend. I was a lonely little boy too.
I roll back onto my side.
Where did Hex go in between now and then? He has hinted at knowing some things about my life. Has he always been with me in some way? Was he watching me from the Shadow Realm? Will he watch me this time?
Will he be there and I’ll be here, but he’ll be watching? Does it matter? I can’t watch back. He’ll still be gone.
My chest tightens. My stomach goes all queasy. My eyes sting.
“Hex,” I say into the dark because I know he isn’t sleeping.
“Yes, My Love.”
I draw in a shaky breath. “When you leave… can you just…go?” My lungs stutter through another inhale. “I’m terrible with goodbyes and I really can’t handle them.”
That’s an understatement. For sure. If Hex did some grand leaving thing, I’d definitely burst into tears. Ugly tears, blotchy face, snot and everything. Then I’d cling onto his shirt and beg him not to leave me. The whole thing would be terrible for everyone involved.
“Anything you wish, My Love,” Hex rumbles.
What I wish is for things to be different. But here we are. And it’s nobody’s fault. Not even Dis’s, because if he hadn’t taken the throne and cursed and exiled Hex, then Hex would never have come to me, and I’d much rather have had what we had than nothing.
“Thank you,” I croak.
Hex places a hand on my shoulder. He gently rolls me over to face him. I close my eyes and pretend tears aren’t leaking out of them.
Soft lips brush against mine, tender and gentle. Rain in the desert, except I need it more. Hex says I nourish him, but I think it goes both ways.
I whimper. I slide closer to him, pressing my body against his. My hand wraps around him to cup the back of his head.
And just like that, our kiss turns into something different. It ignites. It transforms from something gentle to something that blazes with hunger and need.
I wrap my leg around him. His hand slips under my pyjama top, runs up the bare skin of my back, and then suddenly I’m naked. Pyjama top and pyjama trousers are both gone.
Another Hex casualty. Like the top he popped the buttons off of. I’m going to need to buy so many new sets of pyjamas.
