But right now I don’t care, because right now, at this moment, I’m happier than I have ever been. And I’m going to savour it.
Chapter 18
No Regrets
Iamasleepwhenmyphone rings.
Not deeply asleep. The kind of thin, restless sleep that comes from knowing too much and being able to do nothing about it.
My phone screen lights up the room. I grab it before it disturbs Hex.
Felix.
I answer immediately because Felix does not call at two in the morning for fun.
“Hey,” I say quietly, already sitting up. “What’s wrong?”
There is a pause. Background noise. Something crackling and distant and wrong.
“So,” says Felix. “Don’t panic.”
“Felix.”
“I’m fine.” Another pause. The crackling gets louder. “Mostly fine. There’s a situation.”
I am already out of bed, moving to the hallway, closing the bedroom door behind me. “What situation?”
“My building is on fire.”
I stop moving. “What?”
“My building.” His voice is very calm. Terrifyingly calm. “It’s on fire. Has been for about twenty minutes. I’m on the fourteenthfloor and the stairwell is gone and the window is obviously not an option and I’ve tried everything I can do magically and I’m fairly out of ideas at this point.”
The crackling sound is not a bad connection. It’s fire.
“Felix.” My voice comes out strange. Very level. Very careful. The way voices go when the person using them is trying very hard not to lose it. “Have you called the fire brigade?”
“First thing. They’re outside. They can’t get high enough.” A pause. Then, very quietly. “Adam, I don’t think I’m going to get out of this one.”
“Don’t say that.”
“I’m just being realistic.” Something shifts in his voice. The calmness cracks, just slightly, just enough for me to hear what’s underneath it. “I didn’t want to be on my own. That’s all. I just didn’t want to be on my own.”
My throat closes up completely.
“You’re not on your own,” I say. “You’re not. Felix, listen to me, you’re not on your own.”
He starts coughing. Not a small cough. The kind that takes over, that won’t stop, that sounds like his lungs are trying to leave his body. I stand in my hallway in the dark and listen to it and feel completely, utterly useless.
The bedroom door opens. Hex stands in the doorway, red eyes fully illuminated, taking in my face and the phone pressed to my ear and whatever expression I’m wearing right now.
“Felix,” I say, when the coughing finally subsides. “Are you still there?”
“Still here.” His voice is rougher now. Scraped raw. “Sorry. The smoke is getting bad.”
I look at Hex. Hex looks at me.
“Can you help him?” I ask. Not loudly. Just directly, just straight at Hex, just the most important question I have ever asked another being.
